"Only if you were tired," she said rather lamely, and then again with
that new anxiety, "Old Mr. Daman said to someone before me, 'James
Berwick's looking rather fagged to-night'----"
"Let us talk of you, not of me," he said rather hastily. Heavens! what
might she not have heard during this evening concerning him and his
affairs? He lowered for a moment the window to his right and looked out
into the starless moonless night, or rather early morning.
"We are now on the brow of Whiteways. I wish it were daylight, for then
you would see the finest view in Sussex."
"But I have seen the view. I was at the meet, and thanks to your
kindness, for I rode Saucebox. Mr. Berwick, I do not think I have ever
thanked you sufficiently for Saucebox!"
He turned to her with a quick movement. "I do not think there should
ever be a question of thanks between you and me. We are--at least I hope
so--too good friends for that." And with a certain gravity he added, "Do
you not believe friendship possible between a man and woman?" He waited
a moment, then hurried on, "Listen! I offer you my friendship; I have
never done so, in the sense I do now, to any other woman. Shall I tell
you who has been my best, indeed my only, woman friend? only my sister,
only Arabella. I owe her more than one debt of very sincere gratitude.
You will not grudge her place in my--" again he hesitated,--"in my
heart."
Barbara smiled tremulously. What a strange question to ask her! She felt
a little afraid of Miss Berwick, and yet how friendly and gracious had
been her manner to-night.
"Tell me," he said urgently, "you do not mind my saying this to you? I
only wish to seal an existent compact. Ever since we met, have we not
been close friends, you and I? I take it we are both singularly placed,"
he bent down and tried to look into her downcast eyes, "I am very
solitary, and you have only Madame Sampiero--is not that so?"
Barbara bent her head. She felt that Berwick's low, ardent voice was
slowly opening the gates of paradise, and drawing her through into that
enchanted garden where every longing of the heart may be safely and
innocently satisfied.
The carriage was going slowly down the steep hill leading from Whiteways
to Chillingworth, and Berwick knew that he would soon have to leave her.
His voice dropped to a lower key--he ventured, for a moment, to take her
ringless left hand and hold it tightly: "I ask but little--nothing you
do not think it right to give. But your friendship would mean much to
me--would protect me from evil impulses of which, thank God, you can
know nothing. Even to-night I suffered from misdeeds--to put it plainly,
from past sins I should not have been even tempted to commit had I known
you when I committed them."
His words--his confession--moved Barbara to the soul. "I am your
friend," she spoke with a certain difficulty, and yet with solemnity.
She looked up, and he saw that her eyes were full of tears.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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