Berwick had judged truly the woman he had grown to love with so intimate
an understanding and sympathy. The news of approaching release let loose
in Barbara's mind a flood of agonising memories, which crowded out for a
while everything else. During the long years she had endured every
humiliation such a man as Pedro Rebell could inflict on so proud, and so
sensitive a human being as herself, she had never foreseen this way of
escape. He had ever seemed instinct with a rather malignant vitality,
and the young,--Barbara had remained in some ways very young after her
marriage,--are not apt to take death into their calculations.
For some days she told none of those about her of the astounding news
she had received from Santa Maria, but the two in whose thoughts she
dwelt constantly divined her knowledge. It quickened Boringdon's desire
to leave Chancton, and, with that self-delusion to which men who love
are so often prone, in Mrs. Rebell's new coldness of manner to himself,
he saw hope. Not so James Berwick,--he, judging more truly, was seized
with a great fear lest Barbara should think it her duty to go back to
Santa Maria. Rather than that, so he told himself during those days of
strain and waiting for the confidence which she withheld, he would go
himself,--men have gone stranger pilgrimages on behalf of their
beloveds.
At last he told her that he knew what was so deeply troubling her. "And
you are thinking," he said quietly, "that perhaps you ought to go back
and look after him till the end? Is not that so?"
Barbara looked at him very piteously,--they were walking under the
beeches, and, having wandered off the path, were now utterly alone. But,
before she could speak, he again opened his lips: "If such action is
necessary, if you do not think he will be well cared for by those about
him, I will go for you."
"You?" Barbara's dark eyes dilated with sudden fear--"Oh! no, not
you!----"
"Indeed, you could trust me to do all that was possible. You do not
think, surely, that your actual presence would be welcome to him?" The
words were uttered very quietly, but, as he asked the apparently
indifferent question, Berwick clenched the stick he held with a nervous
movement.
"No, I should not be personally welcome." Barbara spoke in a low voice,
almost in a whisper; she felt it impossible to make those confidences
regarding her life with Pedro Rebell which another woman would, perhaps,
in her place, have been eager to make. And yet she longed to convey to
Berwick how short-lived on his part had been the sudden attraction which
had led this half-Spaniard to behave, in those sad weeks just before and
after her father's death, so as to bring her to believe that marriage
with him was the only way out of a difficult and undignified situation;
how little, when once he was married to her, the man who was now dying
had taken her into his scheming, vicious life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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