During the long, solitary journey home--if, indeed, England was
home--there had been time for deep misgiving, for that quick examination
of conscience which, in a sensitive, over-wrought nature, leads to
self-accusation, to a fear of duty neglected. Barbara Rebell was but now
emerging from what had been, and that over years, the imprisonment of
both body and soul. Physically she had become free, but mentally she
still had often during the last five weeks felt herself to be a
bondswoman. During the voyage--aye, even during the two days spent by
her in London--she had seemed to suffer more sentiently than when
actually crushed under the heel of Pedro Rebell, the half-Spanish
planter whose name seemed the only English thing about him. Since she
had escaped from him, Barbara had felt increasingly the degradation of
her hasty marriage to one whose kinship to herself, distant though it
was, had seemed to her girlish inexperience an ample guarantee. That she
had once loved the man,--if, indeed, the romantic, high-strung fancy
which had swept over the newly-orphaned girl could be dignified by the
name of love,--served but to increase her feeling of shame.
To-night, leaning over the stone balcony of Chancton Priory, Barbara
remembered an incident which had of late receded in her mind: once more
she seemed to feel the thrill of indignation and impotent anger which
had overwhelmed her when she had found out, a few weeks after her
wedding day, that the sum of money paid yearly by Madame Sampiero to
Richard Rebell's account, and untouched by him for some ten years before
his death, had been discovered and appropriated by her bridegroom, with,
if she remembered rightly, the scornful assent of Madame Sampiero.
Again she turned hot, as though the episode had happened but yesterday
instead of six long years before; and she asked herself, with sudden
misgiving, how she had ever found the courage to petition her godmother
for the shelter of her roof. She could never have brought herself to do
so but for the kindly letter, accompanied by a gift of a hundred pounds,
which had reached her once a year ever since her ill-fated marriage.
These letters seemed to tell her that the old link which had bound her
mother and Barbara Sampiero so closely had not snapped with death, with
absence, or even, on the part of the writer of them, with physical
disablement.
At last Barbara turned back into the room, and, taking up a candle, made
her way slowly and noiselessly down the old house.
CHAPTER II.
"Et voilà que vieillie et qu'infirme avant l'heure
Ta main tremble à jamais qui n'a jamais tremblé,
Voilà qu'encore plus haute et que toujours meilleure
L'âme seule est debout dans ton être accablé...."
P. D.
"Who ever rigged fair ships to lie in harbours?"
DONNE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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