Humorous stories; Legal stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Trials (Breach of promise) -- Fiction
'Very likely, my dear sir,' replied Perker; 'very likely and very
natural. Nothing more so, my dear sir, nothing. _But who's to prove
it_?'
A suggestion, we are told, that rather "staggered" Mr. Pickwick.
Within ten minutes after he had received the assurance that the thing was
impossible, he was conducted by his solicitors into the outer office of
the great Serjeant Snubbin himself.
It was an uncarpeted room of tolerable dimensions, with a large
writing table drawn up near the fire, the baize top of which had long
since lost all claim to its original hue of green, and had gradually
grown grey with dust and age, except where all traces of its natural
colour were obliterated by ink-stains. Upon the table were numerous
little bundles of papers tied with red tape; and behind it, sat an
elderly clerk, whose sleek appearance and heavy gold watch-chain
presented imposing indications of the extensive and lucrative
practice of Mr. Serjeant Snubbin.
'Is the Serjeant in his room, Mr. Mallard?' inquired Perker, offering
his box with all imaginable courtesy.
'Yes, he is,' was the reply, 'but he's very busy. Look here; not an
opinion given yet, on any one of these cases; and an expedition fee
paid with all of them.' The clerk smiled as he said this, and
inhaled the pinch of snuff with a zest which seemed to be compounded
of a fondness for snuff and a relish for fees.
'Something like practice that,' said Perker.
'Yes,' said the barrister's clerk, producing his own box, and
offering it with the greatest cordiality; 'and the best of it is,
that as nobody alive except myself can read the Serjeant's writing,
they are obliged to wait for the opinions, when he has given them,
till I have copied 'em, ha--ha--ha!'
'Which makes good for we know who, besides the Serjeant, and draws a
little more out of his clients, eh?' said Perker; 'Ha, ha, ha!' At
this the Serjeant's clerk laughed again--not a noisy boisterous
laugh, but a silent, internal chuckle, which Mr. Pickwick disliked to
hear. When a man bleeds inwardly, it is a dangerous thing for
himself; but when he laughs inwardly, it bodes no good to other
people.
'You haven't made me out that little list of the fees that I'm in
your debt, have you?' said Perker.
'No, I have not,' replied the clerk.
'I wish you would,' said Perker. 'Let me have them, and I'll send
you a cheque. But I suppose you're too busy pocketing the ready
money, to think of the debtors, eh? ha, ha, ha!' This sally seemed
to tickle the clerk, amazingly, and he once more enjoyed a little
quiet laugh to himself.
'But, Mr. Mallard, my dear friend,' said Perker, suddenly recovering
his gravity, and drawing the great man's great man into a corner, by
the lappel of his coat, 'you must persuade the Serjeant to see me,
and my client here.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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