Humorous stories; Legal stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Trials (Breach of promise) -- Fiction
'I will even go further than this, Mr. Winkle,' continued Mr. Phunky,
in a most smooth and complacent manner. 'Did you ever see any thing
in Mr. Pickwick's manner and conduct towards the opposite sex to
induce you to believe that he ever contemplated matrimony of late
years, in any case?'
'Oh no; certainly not,' replied Mr. Winkle.
'Has his behaviour, when females have been in the case, always been
that of a man, who having attained a pretty advanced period of life,
content with his own occupations and amusements, treats them only as
a father might his daughters?'
'Not the least doubt of it,' replied Mr. Winkle, in the fulness of
his heart. 'That is--yes--oh yes--certainly.'
'You have never known anything in his behaviour towards Mrs. Bardell,
or any other female, in the least degree suspicious?' said Mr.
Phunky, preparing to sit down, for Serjeant Snubbin was winking at
him.
'N--n--no,' replied Mr. Winkle, 'except on one trifling occasion,
which, I have no doubt, might be easily explained.'
Now, if the unfortunate Mr. Phunky had sat down when Serjeant Snubbin
winked at him, or if Serjeant Buzfuz had stopped this irregular
cross-examination at the outset (which he knew better than to do, for
observing Mr. Winkle's anxiety, and well knowing it would in all
probability, lead to something serviceable to him), this unfortunate
admission would not have been elicited. The moment the words fell
from Mr. Winkle's lips, Mr. Phunky sat down, and Serjeant Snubbin
rather hastily told him he might leave the box, which Mr. Winkle
prepared to do with great readiness, when Serjeant Buzfuz stopped
him.
'Stay, Mr. Winkle--stay,' said Serjeant Buzfuz, 'will your lordship
have the goodness to ask him, what this one instance of suspicious
behaviour towards females on the part of this gentlemen, who is old
enough to be his father, was?'
'You hear what the learned counsel says, Sir,' observed the Judge,
turning to the miserable and agonized Mr. Winkle. 'Describe the
occasion to which you refer.'
'My lord,' said Mr. Winkle, trembling with anxiety, 'I--I'd rather
not.'
And Winkle had to relate the whole Ipswich adventure of the doublebedded
room and the spinster lady.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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