Like all young fellows of his stamp, Tom only saw his inflictions, not
one of his transgressions. He knew that his father made a common drudge
of him, employed him in all that was wearisome and even menial in his
craft, admitted him to no confidences, gave him no counsels, and treated
him in every way like one who was never destined to rise above the
meanest cares and lowest duties. Even those little fleeting glances at
a brighter future which Polly would now and then open to his ambition,
never came from his father, who would actually ridicule the notion of
his obtaining a degree, and make the thought of a commission in the
service a subject for mockery.
He was low in heart as he thought over these things. “If it were not for
Polly,” so he said to himself, “he 'd go and enlist;” or, as his boat
slowly floated into a dark angle of the stream where the water was still
and the shadow deep, he even felt he could do worse. “Poor Polly!” said
he, as he moved his hand to and fro in the cold clear water, “you 'd be
very, very sorry for me. You, at least, knew that I was not all bad, and
that I wanted to be better. It was no fault of mine to have a head that
could n't learn. I 'd be clever if I could, and do everything as well as
she does; but when they see that I have no talents, that if they put the
task before me I cannot master it, sure they ought to pity me, not blame
me.” And then he bent over the boat and looked down eagerly into the
water, till, by long dint of gazing, he saw, or he thought he saw, the
gravelly bed beneath; and again he swept his hand through it,--it was
cold, and caused a slight shudder. Then, suddenly, with some fresh
impulse, he threw off his cap, and kicked his shoes from him. His
trembling hands buttoned and unbuttoned his coat with some infirm,
uncertain purpose. He stopped and listened; he heard a sound; there was
some one near,--quite near. He bent down and peered under the branches
that hung over the stream, and there he saw a very old and infirm man,
so old and infirm that he could barely creep. He had been carrying a
little bundle of fagots for firewood, and the cord had given way, and
his burden fallen, scattered, to the ground. This was the noise Tom
had heard. For a few minutes the old man seemed overwhelmed with his
disaster, and stood motionless, contemplating it; then, as it were,
taking courage, he laid down his staff, and bending on his knees, set
slowly to work to gather up his fagots.
There are minutes in the lives of all of us when some simple
incident will speak to our hearts with a force that human words never
carried,--when the most trivial event will teach a lesson that all our
wisdom never gave us. “Poor old fellow,” said Tom, “he has a stout heart
left to him still, and he 'll not leave his load behind him!” And then
his own craven spirit flashed across him, and he hid his face in his
hand and cried bitterly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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