Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
Mrs. Yonelet was a woman of resourceful energy and generalship; she
involved the other members of the house-party, the deadweight, so to
speak, in all manner of exercises and occupations that segregated them
from Bertie and Dora, who were left to their own devisings—that is to
say, to Dora’s devisings and Bertie’s accommodating acquiescence. Dora
helped in the Christmas decorations of the parish church, and Bertie
helped her to help. Together they fed the swans, till the birds went on
a dyspepsia-strike, together they played billiards, together they
photographed the village almshouses, and, at a respectful distance, the
tame elk that browsed in solitary aloofness in the park. It was “tame”
in the sense that it had long ago discarded the least vestige of fear of
the human race; nothing in its record encouraged its human neighbours to
feel a reciprocal confidence.
Whatever sport or exercise or occupation Bertie and Dora indulged in
together was unfailingly chronicled and advertised by Mrs. Yonelet for
the due enlightenment of Bertie’s grandmother.
“Those two inseparables have just come in from a bicycle ride,” she would
announce; “quite a picture they make, so fresh and glowing after their
spin.”
“A picture needing words,” would be Teresa’s private comment, and as far
as Bertie was concerned she was determined that the words should remain
unspoken.
On the afternoon after Christmas Day Mrs. Yonelet dashed into the
drawing-room, where her hostess was sitting amid a circle of guests and
teacups and muffin-dishes. Fate had placed what seemed like a trump-card
in the hands of the patiently-manoeuvring mother. With eyes blazing with
excitement and a voice heavily escorted with exclamation marks she made a
dramatic announcement.
“Bertie has saved Dora from the elk!”
In swift, excited sentences, broken with maternal emotion, she gave
supplementary information as to how the treacherous animal had ambushed
Dora as she was hunting for a strayed golf ball, and how Bertie had
dashed to her rescue with a stable fork and driven the beast off in the
nick of time.
“It was touch and go! She threw her niblick at it, but that didn’t stop
it. In another moment she would have been crushed beneath its hoofs,”
panted Mrs. Yonelet.
“The animal is not safe,” said Teresa, handing her agitated guest a cup
of tea. “I forget if you take sugar. I suppose the solitary life it
leads has soured its temper. There are muffins in the grate. It’s not
my fault; I’ve tried to get it a mate for ever so long. You don’t know
of anyone with a lady elk for sale or exchange, do you?” she asked the
company generally.
But Mrs. Yonelet was in no humour to listen to talk of elk marriages.
The mating of two human beings was the subject uppermost in her mind, and
the opportunity for advancing her pet project was too valuable to be
neglected.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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