Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
“Teresa,” she exclaimed impressively, “after those two young people have
been thrown together so dramatically, nothing can be quite the same again
between them. Bertie has done more than save Dora’s life; he has earned
her affection. One cannot help feeling that Fate has consecrated them
for one another.”
“Exactly what the vicar’s wife said when Bertie saved Sybil from the elk
a year or two ago,” observed Teresa placidly; “I pointed out to her that
he had rescued Mirabel Hicks from the same predicement a few months
previously, and that priority really belonged to the gardener’s boy, who
had been rescued in the January of that year. There is a good deal of
sameness in country life, you know.”
“It seems to be a very dangerous animal,” said one of the guests.
“That’s what the mother of the gardener’s boy said,” remarked Teresa;
“she wanted me to have it destroyed, but I pointed out to her that she
had eleven children and I had only one elk. I also gave her a black silk
skirt; she said that though there hadn’t been a funeral in her family she
felt as if there had been. Anyhow, we parted friends. I can’t offer you
a silk skirt, Emily, but you may have another cup of tea. As I have
already remarked, there are muffins in the grate.”
Teresa closed the discussion, having deftly conveyed the impression that
she considered the mother of the gardener’s boy had shown a far more
reasonable spirit than the parents of other elk-assaulted victims.
“Teresa is devoid of feeling,” said Mrs. Yonelet afterwards to the
vicar’s wife; “to sit there, talking of muffins, with an appalling
tragedy only narrowly averted—”
“Of course you know whom she really intends Bertie to marry?” asked the
vicar’s wife; “I’ve noticed it for some time. The Bickelbys’ German
governess.”
“A German governess! What an idea!” gasped Mrs. Yonelet.
“She’s of quite good family, I believe,” said the vicar’s wife, “and not
at all the mouse-in-the-back-ground sort of person that governesses are
usually supposed to be. In fact, next to Teresa, she’s about the most
assertive and combative personality in the neighbourhood. She’s pointed
out to my husband all sorts of errors in his sermons, and she gave Sir
Laurence a public lecture on how he ought to handle the hounds. You know
how sensitive Sir Laurence is about any criticism of his Mastership, and
to have a governess laying down the law to him nearly drove him into a
fit. She’s behaved like that to every one, except, of course, Teresa,
and every one has been defensively rude to her in return. The Bickelbys
are simply too afraid of her to get rid of her. Now isn’t that exactly
the sort of woman whom Teresa would take a delight in installing as her
successor? Imagine the discomfort and awkwardness in the county if we
suddenly found that she was to be the future hostess at the Hall.
Teresa’s only regret will be that she won’t be alive to see it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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