Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
As a reaction from the season of gloom and industrial strife that had
just passed away the agencies that purvey and stage-manage sensations
laid themselves out to do their level best on this momentous occasion.
Men who had made their reputations as special descriptive writers were
mobilised from distant corners of Europe and the further side of the
Atlantic in order to enrich with their pens the daily printed records of
the case; one word-painter, who specialised in descriptions of how
witnesses turn pale under cross-examination, was summoned hurriedly back
from a famous and prolonged murder trial in Sicily, where indeed his
talents were being decidedly wasted. Thumb-nail artists and expert kodak
manipulators were retained at extravagant salaries, and special dress
reporters were in high demand. An enterprising Paris firm of costume
builders presented the defendant Duchess with three special creations, to
be worn, marked, learned, and extensively reported at various critical
stages of the trial; and as for the cinematograph agents, their industry
and persistence was untiring. Films representing the Duke saying
good-bye to his favourite canary on the eve of the trial were in
readiness weeks before the event was due to take place; other films
depicted the Duchess holding imaginary consultations with fictitious
lawyers or making a light repast off specially advertised vegetarian
sandwiches during a supposed luncheon interval. As far as human
foresight and human enterprise could go nothing was lacking to make the
trial a success.
Two days before the case was down for hearing the advance reporter of an
important syndicate obtained an interview with the Duke for the purpose
of gleaning some final grains of information concerning his Grace’s
personal arrangements during the trial.
“I suppose I may say this will be one of the biggest affairs of its kind
during the lifetime of a generation,” began the reporter as an excuse for
the unsparing minuteness of detail that he was about to make quest for.
“I suppose so—if it comes off,” said the Duke lazily.
“If?” queried the reporter, in a voice that was something between a gasp
and a scream.
“The Duchess and I are both thinking of going on strike,” said the Duke.
“Strike!”
The baleful word flashed out in all its old hideous familiarity. Was
there to be no end to its recurrence?
“Do you mean,” faltered the reporter, “that you are contemplating a
mutual withdrawal of the charges?”
“Precisely,” said the Duke.
“But think of the arrangements that have been made, the special
reporting, the cinematographs, the catering for the distinguished foreign
witnesses, the prepared music-hall allusions; think of all the money that
has been sunk—”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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