Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
“I—I don’t know how to,” faltered Leonard, who looked more scared and
horrified than anyone.
“What!” shouted Colonel Hampton, “you’ve taken the abominable liberty of
turning my wife into a wolf, and now you stand there calmly and say you
can’t turn her back again!”
To do strict justice to Leonard, calmness was not a distinguishing
feature of his attitude at the moment.
“I assure you I didn’t turn Mrs. Hampton into a wolf; nothing was farther
from my intentions,” he protested.
“Then where is she, and how came that animal into the conservatory?”
demanded the Colonel.
“Of course we must accept your assurance that you didn’t turn Mrs.
Hampton into a wolf,” said Clovis politely, “but you will agree that
appearances are against you.”
“Are we to have all these recriminations with that beast standing there
ready to tear us to pieces?” wailed Mavis indignantly.
“Lord Pabham, you know a good deal about wild beasts—” suggested Colonel
Hampton.
“The wild beasts that I have been accustomed to,” said Lord Pabham, “have
come with proper credentials from well-known dealers, or have been bred
in my own menagerie. I’ve never before been confronted with an animal
that walks unconcernedly out of an azalea bush, leaving a charming and
popular hostess unaccounted for. As far as one can judge from _outward_
characteristics,” he continued, “it has the appearance of a well-grown
female of the North American timber-wolf, a variety of the common species
_canis lupus_.”
“Oh, never mind its Latin name,” screamed Mavis, as the beast came a step
or two further into the room; “can’t you entice it away with food, and
shut it up where it can’t do any harm?”
“If it is really Mrs. Hampton, who has just had a very good dinner, I
don’t suppose food will appeal to it very strongly,” said Clovis.
“Leonard,” beseeched Mrs. Hoops tearfully, “even if this is none of your
doing can’t you use your great powers to turn this dreadful beast into
something harmless before it bites us all—a rabbit or something?”
“I don’t suppose Colonel Hampton would care to have his wife turned into
a succession of fancy animals as though we were playing a round game with
her,” interposed Clovis.
“I absolutely forbid it,” thundered the Colonel.
“Most wolves that I’ve had anything to do with have been inordinately
fond of sugar,” said Lord Pabham; “if you like I’ll try the effect on
this one.”
He took a piece of sugar from the saucer of his coffee cup and flung it
to the expectant Louisa, who snapped it in mid-air. There was a sigh of
relief from the company; a wolf that ate sugar when it might at the least
have been employed in tearing macaws to pieces had already shed some of
its terrors. The sigh deepened to a gasp of thanks-giving when Lord
Pabham decoyed the animal out of the room by a pretended largesse of
further sugar. There was an instant rush to the vacated conservatory.
There was no trace of Mrs. Hampton except the plate containing the
macaws’ supper.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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