Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
On the bench by his side sat an elderly gentleman with a drooping air of
defiance that was probably the remaining vestige of self-respect in an
individual who had ceased to defy successfully anybody or anything. His
clothes could scarcely be called shabby, at least they passed muster in
the half-light, but one’s imagination could not have pictured the wearer
embarking on the purchase of a half-crown box of chocolates or laying out
ninepence on a carnation buttonhole. He belonged unmistakably to that
forlorn orchestra to whose piping no one dances; he was one of the
world’s lamenters who induce no responsive weeping. As he rose to go
Gortsby imagined him returning to a home circle where he was snubbed and
of no account, or to some bleak lodging where his ability to pay a weekly
bill was the beginning and end of the interest he inspired. His
retreating figure vanished slowly into the shadows, and his place on the
bench was taken almost immediately by a young man, fairly well dressed
but scarcely more cheerful of mien than his predecessor. As if to
emphasise the fact that the world went badly with him the new-corner
unburdened himself of an angry and very audible expletive as he flung
himself into the seat.
“You don’t seem in a very good temper,” said Gortsby, judging that he was
expected to take due notice of the demonstration.
The young man turned to him with a look of disarming frankness which put
him instantly on his guard.
“You wouldn’t be in a good temper if you were in the fix I’m in,” he
said; “I’ve done the silliest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
“Yes?” said Gortsby dispassionately.
“Came up this afternoon, meaning to stay at the Patagonian Hotel in
Berkshire Square,” continued the young man; “when I got there I found it
had been pulled down some weeks ago and a cinema theatre run up on the
site. The taxi driver recommended me to another hotel some way off and I
went there. I just sent a letter to my people, giving them the address,
and then I went out to buy some soap—I’d forgotten to pack any and I hate
using hotel soap. Then I strolled about a bit, had a drink at a bar and
looked at the shops, and when I came to turn my steps back to the hotel I
suddenly realised that I didn’t remember its name or even what street it
was in. There’s a nice predicament for a fellow who hasn’t any friends
or connections in London! Of course I can wire to my people for the
address, but they won’t have got my letter till to-morrow; meantime I’m
without any money, came out with about a shilling on me, which went in
buying the soap and getting the drink, and here I am, wandering about
with twopence in my pocket and nowhere to go for the night.”
There was an eloquent pause after the story had been told. “I suppose
you think I’ve spun you rather an impossible yarn,” said the young man
presently, with a suggestion of resentment in his voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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