Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
“I don’t specialise in it,” said Clovis; “it’s all right while you’re
doing it, but the after-effects are sometimes so disconcerting—the mute
reproachful looks of the people you’ve aided and abetted in matrimonial
experiments. It’s as bad as selling a man a horse with half a dozen
latent vices and watching him discover them piecemeal in the course of
the hunting season. I suppose you’re thinking of the Coulterneb girl.
She’s certainly jolly, and quite all right as far as looks go, and I
believe a certain amount of money adheres to her. What I don’t see is
how you will ever manage to propose to her. In all the time I’ve known
her I don’t remember her to have stopped talking for three consecutive
minutes. You’ll have to race her six times round the grass paddock for a
bet, and then blurt your proposal out before she’s got her wind back.
The paddock is laid up for hay, but if you’re really in love with her you
won’t let a consideration of that sort stop you, especially as it’s not
your hay.”
“I think I could manage the proposing part right enough,” said Hugo, “if
I could count on being left alone with her for four or five hours. The
trouble is that I’m not likely to get anything like that amount of grace.
That fellow Lanner is showing signs of interesting himself in the same
quarter. He’s quite heartbreakingly rich and is rather a swell in his
way; in fact, our hostess is obviously a bit flattered at having him
here. If she gets wind of the fact that he’s inclined to be attracted by
Betty Coulterneb she’ll think it a splendid match and throw them into
each other’s arms all day long, and then where will my opportunities come
in? My one anxiety is to keep him out of the girl’s way as much as
possible, and if you could help me—”
“If you want me to trot Lanner round the countryside, inspecting alleged
Roman remains and studying local methods of bee culture and crop raising,
I’m afraid I can’t oblige you,” said Clovis. “You see, he’s taken
something like an aversion to me since the other night in the
smoking-room.”
“What happened in the smoking-room?”
“He trotted out some well-worn chestnut as the latest thing in good
stories, and I remarked, quite innocently, that I never could remember
whether it was George II. or James II. who was so fond of that particular
story, and now he regards me with politely-draped dislike. I’ll do my
best for you, if the opportunity arises, but it will have to be in a
roundabout, impersonal manner.”
* * * * *
“It’s so nice having Mr. Lanner here,” confided Mrs. Olston to Clovis the
next afternoon; “he’s always been engaged when I’ve asked him before.
Such a nice man; he really ought to be married to some nice girl.
Between you and me, I have an idea that he came down here for a certain
reason.”
“I’ve had much the same idea,” said Clovis, lowering his voice; “in fact,
I’m almost certain of it.”
“You mean he’s attracted by—” began Mrs. Olston eagerly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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