Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
CLOVIS ON PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES
Marion Eggelby sat talking to Clovis on the only subject that she ever
willingly talked about—her offspring and their varied perfections and
accomplishments. Clovis was not in what could be called a receptive
mood; the younger generation of Eggelby, depicted in the glowing
improbable colours of parent impressionism, aroused in him no enthusiasm.
Mrs. Eggelby, on the other hand, was furnished with enthusiasm enough for
two.
“You would like Eric,” she said, argumentatively rather than hopefully.
Clovis had intimated very unmistakably that he was unlikely to care
extravagantly for either Amy or Willie. “Yes, I feel sure you would like
Eric. Every one takes to him at once. You know, he always reminds me of
that famous picture of the youthful David—I forget who it’s by, but it’s
very well known.”
“That would be sufficient to set me against him, if I saw much of him,”
said Clovis. “Just imagine at auction bridge, for instance, when one was
trying to concentrate one’s mind on what one’s partner’s original
declaration had been, and to remember what suits one’s opponents had
originally discarded, what it would be like to have some one persistently
reminding one of a picture of the youthful David. It would be simply
maddening. If Eric did that I should detest him.”
“Eric doesn’t play bridge,” said Mrs. Eggelby with dignity.
“Doesn’t he?” asked Clovis; “why not?”
“None of my children have been brought up to play card games,” said Mrs.
Eggelby; “draughts and halma and those sorts of games I encourage. Eric
is considered quite a wonderful draughts-player.”
“You are strewing dreadful risks in the path of your family,” said
Clovis; “a friend of mine who is a prison chaplain told me that among the
worst criminal cases that have come under his notice, men condemned to
death or to long periods of penal servitude, there was not a single
bridge-player. On the other hand, he knew at least two expert
draughts-players among them.”
“I really don’t see what my boys have got to do with the criminal
classes,” said Mrs. Eggelby resentfully. “They have been most carefully
brought up, I can assure you that.”
“That shows that you were nervous as to how they would turn out,” said
Clovis. “Now, my mother never bothered about bringing me up. She just
saw to it that I got whacked at decent intervals and was taught the
difference between right and wrong; there is some difference, you know,
but I’ve forgotten what it is.”
“Forgotten the difference between right and wrong!” exclaimed Mrs.
Eggelby.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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