“Very well. Do not blame me if you don’t like it, and do not set me
down as a prig, though I am going to tell you your faults as I read
them in your own words. You are proud and ambitious, and the cramped
lines in which you are forced to live seem to strangle you. You have
suffered, and have not learned the lesson of suffering—humility. You
have set yourself up against Fate, and Fate sweeps you along like spray
upon the gale, yet you go unwilling. In your impatience you have flown
to learning for refuge, and it has completed your overthrow, for it has
induced you to reject as non-existent all that you cannot understand.
Because your finite mind cannot search infinity, because no answer has
come to all your prayers, because you see misery and cannot read its
purpose, because you suffer and have not found rest, you have said
there is naught but chance, and become an atheist, as many have done
before you. Is it not true?”
“Go on,” she answered, bowing her head to her breast so that the long
rippling hair almost hid her face.
“It seems a little odd,” Geoffrey said with a short laugh, “that I,
with all my imperfections heaped upon me, should presume to preach to
you—but you will know best how near or how far I am from the truth. So
I want to say something. I have lived for thirty-five years, and seen a
good deal and tried to learn from it, and I know this. In the long run,
unless we of our own act put away the opportunity, the world gives us
our due, which generally is not much. So much for things temporal. If
you are fit to rule, in time you will rule; if you do not, then be
content and acknowledge your own incapacity. And as for things
spiritual, I am sure of this—though of course one does not like to talk
much of these matters—if you only seek for them long enough in some
shape you will find them, though the shape may not be that which is
generally recognised by any particular religion. But to build a wall
deliberately between oneself and the unseen, and then complain that the
way is barred, is simply childish.”
“And what if one’s wall is built, Mr. Bingham?”
“Most of us have done something in that line at different times,” he
answered, “and found a way round it.”
“And if it stretches from horizon to horizon, and is higher than the
clouds, what then?”
“Then you must find wings and fly over it.”
“And where can any earthly woman find those spiritual wings?” she
asked, and then sank her head still deeper on her breast to cover her
confusion. For she remembered that she had heard of wanderers in the
dusky groves of human passion, yes, even Mænad wanderers, who had
suddenly come face to face with their own soul; and that the cruel
paths of earthly love may yet lead the feet which tread them to the
ivory gates of heaven.
And remembering these beautiful myths, though she had no experience of
love, and knew little of its ways, Beatrice grew suddenly silent. Nor
did Geoffrey give her an answer, though he need scarcely have feared to
do so.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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