She was going, she said, to attend High Mass in the church of S. Moise,
and she waved her devoutest Roman Catholicism to show the breadth of
the division between them. He proposed to go likewise. She was mute.
After some discourse she contrived to say inoffensively that people who
strolled into her churches for the music, or out of curiosity, played
the barbarian.
“Well, I will not go,” said Nevil.
“But I do not wish to number you among them,” she said.
“Then,” said Nevil, “I will go, for it cannot be barbarous to try to be
with you.”
“No, that is wickedness,” said Renée.
She was sensible that conversation betrayed her, and Nevil’s apparently
deliberate pursuit signified to her that he must be aware of his
mastery, and she resented it, and stumbled into pitfalls whenever she
opened her lips. It seemed to be denied to them to utter what she
meant, if indeed she had a meaning in speaking, save to hurt herself
cruelly by wounding the man who had caught her in the toils: and so
long as she could imagine that she was the only one hurt, she was the
braver and the harsher for it; but at the sight of Nevil in pain her
heart relented and shifted, and discovering it to be so weak as to be
almost at his mercy, she defended it with an aggressive unkindness, for
which, in charity to her sweeter nature, she had to ask his pardon, and
then had to fib to give reasons for her conduct, and then to pretend to
herself that her pride was humbled by him; a most humiliating round,
constantly recurring; the worse for the reflection that she created it.
She attempted silence. Nevil spoke, and was like the magical piper: she
was compelled to follow him and dance the round again, with the
wretched thought that it must resemble coquettry. Nevil did not think
so, but a very attentive observer now upon the scene, and possessed of
his half of the secret, did, and warned him. Rosamund Culling added
that the French girl might be only an unconscious coquette, for she was
young. The critic would not undertake to pronounce on her suggestion,
whether the candour apparent in merely coquettish instincts was not
more dangerous than a battery of the arts of the sex. She had heard
Nevil’s frank confession, and seen Renée twice, when she tried in his
service, though not greatly wishing for success, to stir the sensitive
girl for an answer to his attachment. Probably she went to work
transparently, after the insular fashion of opening a spiritual mystery
with the lancet. Renée suffered herself to be probed here and there,
and revealed nothing of the pain of the operation. She said to Nevil,
in Rosamund’s hearing:
“Have you the sense of honour acute in your country?” Nevil inquired
for the apropos.
“None,” said she.
Such pointed insolence disposed Rosamund to an irritable antagonism,
without reminding her that she had given some cause for it.
Renée said to her presently: “He saved my brother’s life”; the àpropos
being as little perceptible as before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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