Cecilia said, 'Yet I cannot discern in him a veneration for aristocracy.'
'That's not wanted for modern Toryism,' said Nevil. 'One may venerate
old families when they show the blood of the founder, and are not dead
wood. I do. And I believe the blood of the founder, though the man may
have been a savage and a robber, had in his day finer elements in it than
were common. But let me say at a meeting that I respect true
aristocracy, I hear a growl and a hiss beginning: why? Don't judge them
hastily: because the people have seen the aristocracy opposed to the
cause that was weak, and only submitting to it when it commanded them to
resist at their peril; clinging to traditions, and not anywhere standing
for humanity: much more a herd than the people themselves. Ah! well, we
won't talk of it now. I say that is no aristocracy, if it does not head
the people in virtue--military, political, national: I mean the qualities
required by the times for leadership. I won't bother you with my ideas
now. I love to see you paint-brush in hand.'
Her brush trembled on the illumination of a scarlet maple. 'In this
country we were not originally made free and equal by decree, Nevil.'
'No,' said he, 'and I cast no blame on our farthest ancestors.'
It struck her that this might be an outline of a reply to Mr. Austin.
'So you have been thinking over it?' he asked.
'Not to conclusions,' she said, trying to retain in her mind the
evanescent suggestiveness of his previous remark, and vexed to find
herself upon nothing but a devious phosphorescent trail there.
Her forehead betrayed the unwonted mental action. He cried out for
pardon. 'What right have I to bother you? I see it annoys you. The
truth is, I came for peace. I think of you when they talk of English
homes.'
She felt then that he was comparing her home with another, a foreign
home. After he had gone she felt that there had been a comparison of two
persons. She remembered one of his observations: 'Few women seem to have
courage'; when his look at her was for an instant one of scrutiny or
calculation. Under a look like that we perceive that we are being
weighed. She had no clue to tell her what it signified.
Glorious and solely glorious love, that has risen above emotion, quite
independent of craving! That is to be the bird of upper air, poised on
his wings. It is a home in the sky. Cecilia took possession of it
systematically, not questioning whether it would last; like one who is
too enamoured of the habitation to object to be a tenant-at-will. If it
was cold, it was in recompense immeasurably lofty, a star-girdled place;
and dwelling in it she could avow to herself the secret which was now
working self-deception, and still preserve her pride unwounded. Her
womanly pride, she would have said in vindication of it: but Cecilia
Halkett's pride went far beyond the merely womanly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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