Heiglnstadt, October, 1802, thus I take my farewell of thee--and, indeed, sadly--yes, that fond hope which I entertained when I came here, of being at any rate healed up to a certain point, must be entirely abandoned. As the leaves of autumn fall and fade, so it has withered away for me; almost the same as when I came here do I go away--even the high courage which often in the beautiful summer days quickened me, that has vanished. O Providence, let me have just one pure day of _joy_; so long is it since true joy filled my heart. Oh when, oh when, oh Divine Being, shall I be able once again to feel it in the temple of nature and of men? Never--no--that would be too hard. For my brothers Carl and ---- to execute after my death. CODICIL. TESTAMENTARY DISPOSITION. My nephew, Carl, shall be my sole heir; the capital of my estate shall, however, descend to his natural heirs or to those appointed by him through a will. Ludwig van Beethoven. FOOTNOTES: [83] Translation by J. S. Shedlock. See footnote, page 65. [84] Beethoven was at the time in his 32nd year; but he never knew precisely his age. LETTERS [Illustration: BEETHOVEN AT THE AGE OF 44.] _From an Engraving by Blasius Hoefel after the Drawing by Louis Letronne, 1814._ _To face page_ 64. BEETHOVEN'S LETTERS.[85] I. To CARL AMENDA at Wirben in Courland. (_Vienna, June_ 1, 1800). My dear, my good Amenda, my heartily beloved friend.