"I may say that I pass my life wretchedly; for nearly two years I have avoided all society, because I cannot possibly say to people, '_I am deaf!_' If I were in any other profession it would not so much signify, but for a musician it is a really frightful condition. Besides, what would my enemies say to it?--and they are not few! "To give you an idea of this extraordinary deafness, I must tell you that in the theatre I am obliged to lean forward quite close to the orchestra in order to understand the actors. The high tones of the instruments and voices I do not hear if I am a little way off. In conversation it is surprising that there are some people who do not observe it--they attribute it to the absent fits which I often have. Many a time I can with difficulty distinguish the tones, but not the words, of any person who speaks in a low voice; and yet, directly any one begins to shout, it is unendurable to me. What is to be the result of all this, the good God alone knows. Vering says that my condition will certainly improve, though I may not be perfectly restored. I have often already--cursed my existence. Plutarch has led me to resignation. I am resolved, if possible, to defy my fate, although there should be moments in my life when I shall be the most unhappy of all God's creatures. "I beg of you not to mention my state to any one, not even to Lorchen;[17] I only confide it as a secret to you. I should like much if you would correspond some day with Vering about it. Should my affliction continue, I shall come next spring to you. You shall hire a house for me in some lovely spot in the country, and there I shall become a peasant for six months. Perhaps that might bring about a change. Resignation! what a miserable refuge! and yet the only one left to me! "You must forgive me for adding the burden of these friendly cares to your troubles, already gloomy enough. Steffen Breuning[18] is now here, and we are almost every day together; it does me so much good to call up the old feelings. He has become really a capital fellow, who knows something, and has his heart pretty much in the right place, like us all. "I have very pleasant rooms now close to the Ramparts,[19] which is doubly advantageous for my health. I think I shall be able to manage so that Breuning may come to me. "Your Antiochus[20] you shall have, together with plenty of music from me,--that is, if you do not fear its costing you too much. Honestly, your love of art rejoices me greatly. Only let me know how to set about it, and I shall send you all my works, which now amount to a pretty number, and are daily added to.