"My digestion is better, especially after using the tepid baths,
when I feel tolerably well for eight or ten days. Tonics I very
seldom take, but follow your advice now with regard to the
herb-plasters. Plunge baths Vering will not hear of. On the whole, I
am not at all pleased with him; he has far too little solicitude or
indulgence for a malady such as mine; if I did not go to him, and
this I cannot do without great difficulty, I should never see him.
What do you think of Schmidt?[25] I am unwilling to make a change,
but it seems to me that Vering is too much of a practitioner to gain
fresh ideas by reading. With regard to this, Schmidt appears a very
different sort of man, and might also, perhaps, not be quite so
negligent of my case.
"I hear wonders of galvanism--what say you to it? A medical man told
me that he had known a deaf and dumb child whose hearing was fully
restored by it (in Berlin), and also a man who, after having been
deaf for seven years, recovered his hearing. They tell me that your
friend Schmidt is making experiments on the subject.
"I lead a somewhat more agreeable life now that I mingle more with
other people. You can hardly realize what a miserable, desolate life
mine has been for the last two years. Like a ghost did my deafness
haunt me everywhere, till I fled society, and must have appeared a
misanthrope--yet this is so little my character.
"This change has been brought about by a lovely and fascinating
girl,[26] who loves me, and whom I love. After the lapse of two
years I have again enjoyed some blissful moments, and now for the
first time I feel that marriage can bestow happiness; but, alas! she
is not in the same rank of life as myself; and at present, certainly
I could not marry: I must first bestir myself actively. Were it not
for my deafness, I would long ago have travelled half round the
world, and I must do it yet. For me there is no greater pleasure
than to follow and promote my art. Do not believe that I could be
happy with you. What would there be, indeed, to make me happier?
Even your solicitude would pain me; every moment I should read
sympathy on your faces, and should find myself only the more
wretched.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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