"My journey was terrible. I only arrived yesterday at four o'clock
in the morning, owing to the want of horses. The driver chose
another route, but what a fearful one! At the last station they
warned me not to travel by night, and tried to terrify me by a
forest, but this only stimulated me, though I was wrong. The
carriage broke down on that dreadful road, a mere rough, unmade
country lane, and had not my postillions been what they were, I
should have been obliged to remain there by the wayside.
"Esterhazy, on the usual route, had the same fate with eight horses
that I had with four, and yet I felt a certain degree of pleasure,
as I always do when I overcome anything happily.--Now, in haste,
from the outer to the inner man! We shall probably soon see each
other again. I cannot communicate to thee to-day the reflections I
have been making, during the last few days, on my life--were our
hearts ever near to one another, I should make none such. My heart
is full of much that I have to say to thee. Ah! there are moments in
which I feel that language is absolutely nothing. Take courage!
continue to be my true, my only treasure, my All, as I am thine. The
gods must send the rest--that which is ordained to be, and shall be
for us.
"Thy faithful
"LUDWIG."
"_Monday evening, 6th July._
"Thou grievest--thou--the dearest of all beings!--I have just
learned that the letters must be sent off very early. Mondays and
Thursdays are the only days on which the post goes to K---.--Thou
grievest! Ah! where I am, there thou art with me--with our united
efforts I shall attain my object--I shall pass my life with
thee--what a life!!! whereas now!!! without thee--persecuted at
times by the kindness of others, a kindness which I neither deserve
nor wish to deserve. Servility from man to his fellow-creature pains
me; and, when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am
I? what is he who is called the greatest? and yet even here is
displayed the Divine in man!--I weep when I think that thou wilt
probably receive no tidings of me before Saturday. However much thou
mayest love me, I love thee more fervently still--never hide thy
feelings from me.--Good night! as a patient here I must now go to
rest. Ah, God! so near!--so far apart! is not our love a true
celestial mansion, enduring as the vault of heaven itself!"
"_7th July._
"Good morning!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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