Beggars on HorsebackJesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
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Beggars on Horseback
Jesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
Fiction; Short stories, English
As Sophia felt the anguish of the Person who had absorbed her, she
realized it was the same as hers--the fear and pain of barrenness.
Whether she had known all along that it was the repeat, the echo, of a
vision of Beata's that was on her, or whether she only knew it then, she
could never have told. No actual child that might have been cried to
the Beata consciousness, only natural longings apart from any one
person, yet the anguish bit keenly, for with it went fear--the deadly
fear lest barrenness should be deliberate sin against life. Powerless to
help, Sophia saw the thought turn in the other's mind, and with that
they both entered into the last phase of the vision. Here Sophia, who
had not trained herself, like Beata, to prolonged sustaining of the
will, flagged and began to fail. A brightness that was too strong for
her, a sense as of great Shapes, a looming Presence, swept on to her,
wrapped her round, overweighted her. She struggled to keep up with the
Beata consciousness, for she knew if only she could succeed in that she
would find the answer to her own sorrow and Beata's fear. The outer
world had begun to come back, the towers of the town showed as through a
mist, some growing more and more definite; some, those of Beata's day,
wavering uncertainly. . . . She strained her flagging nerves, caught at
her subsiding energies in one last effort. . . . A divine warmth suffused
her breast; sky and air were filled with the gleam of a fiery Child that
flashed towards her, filled her arms; and sank, not away, but into her
very soul and, like quick stars, she saw the wounds on His hands and
feet.
With that she knew, as Beata had known, that this was the reward of
virginity, that each virgin could mother the Christ-child afresh. She
knew that to those to whom the joy of making a living body with its
corresponding soul is denied, creation is not stilled, that there need
be no barrenness in a garden enclosed. For she saw that there is no
sterility save that of the wilful mind.
With a shock the present reeled into its place; spiritual vision was
past and physical vision lost keenness as her own blurred sight swam
back to her; and, worn out, hardly conscious of her own life, but filled
with peace, Sophia lay along the seat in the kindly dusk.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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