Beggars on HorsebackJesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
General
Beggars on Horseback
Jesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
Fiction; Short stories, English
giving--giving peace and mothering and delight, giving the sky and the
earth and the very air they breathed. Only some one who has ever made a
gift of a day knows the joy that it is--how each golden moment,
conscious of its own beauty, hangs poised like a held breath; how the
sun and wind and flowers and the upward curves of the supporting earth
are all parts of the gift, making the giver a god who pours out creation
for his friend.
The next day they took train to Pisa on a more sophisticated errand,
since he had undertaken to make a sketch of the tower for a friend who
was "sheeking" some Italian backgrounds. Sophia wandered happily about
the town while he did so, and then they met for lunch in the garden of
an old inn.
"I'm afraid of to-day," he told her, "because it can't be as perfect as
yesterday. Nothing could--that's the worst of a day like that."
"I'll _make_ it as perfect," Sophia replied, and she kept her word. She
still had no idea she loved him, she only knew that she wanted to shield
and protect him, that she was happy with him and felt the power to make
him happy, and that she trusted him utterly. Without realizing it, she
tempted him cruelly by her very trust, and that day her calm
recklessness of speech, her gaze that meeting his so straight and
untroubled, disturbed him so profoundly, were too much for him.
"Take off your glove," he said suddenly.
Sophia's notions of love had been culled from books, and she considered
it inseparable from what she termed "thrills." How was she to know that
a woman, especially what is called a "nice" woman, can love without the
promptings of the pulses? Because she felt no sensuous "thrill" as the
tone of command, it never occurred to her to think she could be in love,
wherein she was making another common literary mistake--that of thinking
that every woman enjoys being mastered. Sophia found her joy in ready
compliance with the demands of the beloved, not in arranging set scenes
of clashing wills and conciliations. Taking off her glove, she gave him
her hand.
"When I say that I want to kiss you now," he said, "it doesn't mean in
the way it would have, even a day or two ago. I told you then you
affected me . . . but now it would be because I love you."
Sophia's hand moved slightly in his.
"Yes," she said hesitatingly, "in a way--of course. I know you're very
fond of me--and all that."
"In _the_ way," he returned, "and I'm not fit to hold your hand. D'you
know what the life of an average man is like--especially of a man in my
circumstances?"
"You mean--women?"
"Yes--bought women," he said brutally. "Does it make a lot of difference
to you?"
Sophia, refusing to let her mind so much as dwell with any effort of
realization on his confession, closed her hand firmly over his.
"It doesn't make any difference. Nothing does. If I could look after
you--if you were free to be looked after--you wouldn't have to go to
other women any more. I care about you more than about any man I've ever
met."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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