Belinda: An April Folly in Three Acts — John Shaqi
Belinda: An April Folly in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Belinda: An April Folly in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
BAXTER. I am progressing, Mrs. Tremayne. Indeed, I came here this
morning to acquaint you with the results of my investigations.
(_Clears his throat_.) Yesterday I located a man called Robinson
working upon a farm close by. I ventured to ask him if he had any marks
upon him by which he could be recognized. He adopted a threatening
attitude, and replied that if I wanted any he could give me some. With
the aid of half-a-crown I managed to placate him. Putting my inquiry in
another form, I asked if he had any moles. A regrettable
misunderstanding, which led to a fruitless journey to another part of
the village, was eventually cleared up, and on my return I satisfied
myself that this man was in no way related to your niece.
BELINDA (_admiringly_). How splendid of you!
BAXTER. Yes.
BELINDA. Well, now, we know _he's_ not. (_She holds up one
finger_.)
BAXTER. Yes. In the afternoon I located another Mr. Robinson following
the profession of a carrier. My first inquiries led to a similar result,
with the exception that in this case Mr. Robinson carried his
threatening attitude so far as to take off his coat and roll up his
sleeves. Perceiving at once that he was not the man, I withdrew.
BELINDA. How brave you are!
BAXTER. Yes.
BELINDA. That makes two.
BAXTER. Yea.
BELINDA (_holding up another finger_). It still leaves a good many.
(_Pleadingly_.) Just call me Belinda again.
BAXTER (_rising and backing to_ R. _a little, nervously_). You
mustn't tempt me, Mrs. Tremayne.
BELINDA (_penitently_). I won't!
BAXTER (_going slowly to fireplace and placing his hat down on
armchair below fireplace_). To resume, then, my narrative. This
morning I have heard of a third Mr. Robinson. Whether there is actually
any particular fortune attached to the number three I cannot say for
certain. It is doubtful whether statistics would be found to support the
popular belief. But one likes to flatter oneself that in one's own case
it may be true; and so--
BELINDA. And so the third Mr. Robinson--?
BAXTER. Something for which I cannot altogether account inspires me with
hope. He is, I have discovered, staying at Mariton. This afternoon I go
to look for him.
BELINDA (_to herself_). Mariton! How funny! I wonder if it's the
same one.
BAXTER. What one?
BELINDA. Oh, just one of the ones. (_Gratefully_.) Mr. Baxter, you
are doing all this for _me_.
BAXTER. Pray do not mention it. I don't know if it's Devonshire
(_going to and sitting_ L. _of_ BELINDA), or the time of the
year, or the sort of atmosphere you create, Mrs. Tremayne, but I feel an
entirely different man. There is something in the air which--yes, I
shall certainly go over to Mariton this afternoon.
BELINDA (_gravely_). I have had the same feeling sometimes, Mr.
Baxter. I am not always the staid respectable matron which I appear to
you to be. Sometimes I--(_She looks absently at the watch on her
wrist_.) Good gracious!
BAXTER (_alarmed_). What is it!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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