[ As we might reasonably be expected to account for the possession of the following document, we beg to state that it was put into our hands by an unknown gentleman, who slipped unseen into our _sanctum_, clothed in a whity-brown suit, half-boots, and blue cotton stockings. The gentleman apologized for the negligence of his attire, by stating that he was in "reduced" circumstances. His employers, he said, had hit upon an ingenious mode of reimbursing themselves for the losses they sustained by trading under the market price,--which was simply paying their workmen one half of their wages, and owing them the other. On our inquiring with great sympathy, whether he was not desirous to get the last-mentioned moiety, he replied with real feeling, that he wished he might. He then begged the loan of a small pinch of snuff, sighed deeply, and withdrew.--ED. B. M. ] Messrs. Four, Two, and One, many years resident on the Surrey side of the river Thames, beg most respectfully to announce to the play-going public, that in consequence of the increasing demand for all sorts of low-priced theatrical articles, they have at length succeeded in securing and entering upon those large, commodious, and formerly well-known high-priced premises situate in Drury-lane and Covent-garden; and having by this arrangement prevented the possibility of competition, they are determined to do business in future upon the Surrey-side system only. To prove the sincerity of their intentions, Four, Two, and One take this opportunity of making known to the directors of theatrical establishments, that they have a number of hints ready cut and dried, upon the necessity of a general reduction of the salaries of the principal ENGLISH _artistes_, which will be found singularly useful to managers taking a Continental trip for the purpose of securing FOREIGN talent for the London market. F. T. and O. also recommend their celebrated elastic, self-acting, portable, Anglo-Parisian pen, skilfully contrived to fit all hands, and which enables the writer, after six lessons upon the Hamiltonian system, to translate any French piece into _Surrey-side English_; thereby superseding the necessity of employing and paying any author or adapter who thinks it worth his while to embarrass himself with the study of reading, writing, or any other abstruse or outlandish knowledge whatsoever.