F. T. and O. cannot conclude without returning their most sincere and heartfelt thanks to the nobility, gentry, and friends of the drama generally, by whom their endeavours have been so eminently patronized. In particular, they should consider themselves guilty of the grossest ingratitude, did they omit this occasion of acknowledging their infinite obligations to the proprietors of the Patent establishments, who (by their active zeal, and indefatigable industry in the great cause of general reduction,) have placed Four, Two, and One, in their present premises, and have thereby enforced and illustrated this incontrovertible fact,--that Sheridan, Harris, and Colman were mere humbugs and imposters compared with F. T. and O.; and, that during their long and high-priced professional career, they did nothing to obtain or preserve the protection of a candid and enlightened public. THE ABBESS AND THE DUCHESS. BY THOMAS HAYNES BAYLY. _Abbess._ Who is knocking for admission At the convent's outer gate? Is it possible a lady Can be wandering so late? Let me see her through the lattice, And her _story_ let me hear; --Oh! your most obedient, madam; May I ask what brings you here? _Duchess._ You will very much applaud me, When you hear what I have done; I've been naughty,--I'm a penitent, and want to be a nun. I've been treated most unfairly, Though 'tis said I am most fair; I am rich, ma'am, and a duchess, And my name's La Vallière. _Abbess._ Get along, you naughty woman, You'll contaminate us all; When you touch'd the gate, I wonder That the convent did not fall! Stop! I think you mention'd money,-- That is--penitence, I mean: Let her in,--I'm _too_ indulgent;-- Pray how are the king and queen? _Duchess._ Lady Abbess, you delight me,-- Oh! had Louis been as kind! But he used me ungenteely, To my fondness deaf and blind. Oh! methinks that now I view him, With his feathers in his hat!-- Hem!--beg pardon--I'm aware, ma'am, That I mustn't speak of _that_. _Abbess._ Not by no means, madam, never; _No_--you mustn't even _think_; (Put your feet upon the fender, And here's something warm to drink: Is it strong enough?--pray stir it:) What on earth _could_ make you go From a palace to a convent? Come,--I'm curious to know? _Duchess._ Can you wonder, Lady Abbess?-- At the change I should rejoice,-- I of vanities was weary, And a convent was my choice. I have had a troubled conscience, And court manners did condemn, Ever since I saw King Louis Making eyes at Madam _M_.