The day before my intended nuptials I had paid my customary visit to Selina, and it was arranged that the _settlement_ should be executed (what a happy union of terms!) that night. I had left but a few minutes when I missed my handkerchief. I returned for it. The kidney-potato shot out of the house as I turned the corner of the street. I found the door ajar, and, not considering any ceremony necessary, I walked into the parlour. I had put my handkerchief into the left pocket of my coat when I was somewhat startled by a burst of very boisterous male and female merriment. I paused. A child's treble was then heard, and in a moment after _a child_--_a live child_ entered the room crying most piteously. It ceased on beholding me; and when its astonishment had subsided, it sobbed out, "I want mamma!" "Mamma?" said I. "And who's mamma?" My query was answered from the first floor. "Come to mamma, dear!" shouted--Selina! I don't know what the sensations of a humming-top in full spin may be, but I should imagine they are very similar to those which I experienced at this particular moment. When I recovered, I was stretched on the hearth-rug with my head in the coal-scuttle, surrounded by my Selina, her mother, the maid, and I suppose her "brother at sea." "What is the matter, love?" said ---- You know whom I mean,--I can't write her name again. "Nothing, madam," I replied, "nothing; only I anticipated being married to-morrow,--but I shall be disappointed." The ensuing week I received notice of action for a breach of promise of marriage; the ensuing term the cause was tried before an intelligent jury; and the ensuing day Quillit handed me a bill for seven hundred and sixty-two pounds, one shilling, and eightpence, being the amount of damages and costs in Smithers _versus_ Wise. I paid Quillit, sold my house and furniture at Norwich, and took up my abode at Bumbleby, in Lancashire, resolving to be as love-proof as Miss Martineau, which resolution I have religiously observed to this day. I was, however, involved in one other tender affair, by proxy, which produced me more serious annoyances than even my own.