Austria -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
"I know what you are thinking of," said Klingemann. "That is all of no
consequence; that is all done with the moment you give the word. I have a
dim presentiment that we two suit each other very well. Yes, unless I am
very much deceived, the blood should be flowing in your veins, my dear
lady, as warm...."
The glance which Bertha now gave him was so full of anger and loathing
that Klingemann was unable to complete the sentence. He therefore
began another.
"Ah, when you come to think of it, what sort of a life is it that I am
now leading? It is even a long, long time since I was loved by a noble
woman such as you are. I understand, of course, your hesitation, or
rather, your refusal. Deuce take it, of course it needs a bit of
courage--with such a disreputable fellow as I am, too ... although,
perhaps, things are not quite so bad. Ah, if I could only find a human
soul, a kind, womanly soul!"--He emphasized the "womanly soul"--"Yes, my
dear lady, it was as little meant to be my fate as it was yours to pine
away and grow crabbed in such a hole of a town as this. You must not be
offended if I ... if I--"
The words began to fail him when he approached the truth. Bertha looked
at him. He seemed to her at that moment to be rather ridiculous, almost
pitiable, and very old, and she wondered how it was that he still had
the courage, not so much as to propose to her, as even simply to court
her favour.
And yet, to her own amazement and shame, there overflowed from these
unseemly words of a man who appeared absurd to her, the surge, so to
speak, of desire. And when his words had died away she heard them again
in her mind--but as though from the lips of another who was waiting for
her in Vienna--and she felt that she would not be able to withstand this
other speaker. Klingemann continued to talk; he spoke of his life as
being a failure, but yet a life worth saving. He said that women were to
be blamed for bringing him so low, and that a woman could raise him up
again. Away back in his student days he had run away with a woman, and
that had been the beginning of his misfortunes. He talked of his
unbridled passions, and Bertha could not restrain a smile. At the same
time she was ashamed of the knowledge which seemed to her to be implied
by the smile....
"I will walk up and down in front of your window this evening," said
Klingemann, when they reached the gate. "Will you play the piano?"
"I don't know."
"I will take it as a sign."
With that he went away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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