It was a cheerful room in the daytime, with its southern window,
through which the minister saw the roses touching the very glass and
dwarf apple trees lining the garden walks; there was also a western
window that he might watch each day close. It was a pleasant room
now, when the curtains were drawn, and the light of the lamp fell on
the books he loved, and which bade him welcome. One by one he had
arranged the hard-bought treasures of student days in the little
book-case, and had planned for himself that sweetest of pleasures,
an evening of desultory reading. But his books went out of mind as
he looked at the sermon shining beneath the glare of the lamp, and
demanding judgment. He had finished its last page with honest pride
that afternoon, and had declaimed it, facing the southern window,
with a success that amazed himself. His hope was that he might be
kept humble, and not called to Edinburgh for at least two years; and
now he lifted the sheets with fear. The brilliant opening, with its
historical parallel, this review of modern thought reinforced by
telling quotations, that trenchant criticism of old-fashioned views,
would not deliver. For the audience had vanished, and left one
careworn, but ever beautiful face, whose gentle eyes were waiting
with a yearning look. Twice he crushed the sermon in his hands, and
turned to the fire his aunt's care had kindled, and twice he
repented and smoothed it out. What else could he say now to the
people? and then in the stillness of the room he heard a voice,
"Speak a gude word for Jesus Christ."
Next minute he was kneeling on the hearth, and pressing the
_magnum opus_, that was to shake Drumtochty, into the heart of
the red fire, and he saw, half-smiling and half-weeping, the
impressive words, "Semitic environment," shrivel up and disappear.
As the last black flake fluttered out of sight, the face looked at
him again, but this time the sweet brown eyes were full of peace.
It was no masterpiece, but only the crude production of a lad who
knew little of letters and nothing of the world. Very likely it
would have done neither harm nor good, but it was his best, and he
gave it for love's sake, and I suppose that there is nothing in a
human life so precious to God, neither clever words nor famous
deeds, as the sacrifices of love.
The moon flooded his bedroom with silver light, and he felt the
presence of his mother. His bed stood ghostly with its white
curtains, and he remembered how every night his mother knelt by its
side in prayer for him. He is a boy once more, and repeats the
Lord's Prayer, then he cries again, "My mother! my mother!" and an
indescribable contentment fills his heart.
His prayer next morning was very short, but afterwards he stood at
the window for a space, and when he turned, his aunt said:
"Ye will get yir sermon, and it will be worth hearing."
"How did ye know?"
But she only smiled, "I heard you pray."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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