MOUS. Of course, if you insist upon it, I will. But perhaps you’re not aware that there are usually from thirty to forty females of various ages and dimensions engaged in that establishment _over the way_, and I don’t think it would be exactly the safest place in the world for an unprotected male. Besides, I might be seen entering the premises, and then what would people say? Am I not known in the neighbourhood as the best of husbands? When we go out don’t the people rush to their doors and windows to look at us? Oh, ’Stasy! ’Stasy! MRS. M. Ha, ha, ha! My dear Marmaduke, you are certainly getting a little cracked on the subject. MOUS. I know it. I’m so much cracked that I wonder I don’t fall to pieces. But I can’t help it. (_placing his arm round her waist_) CRUM. (_without, L. D. F._) Oh, Mouser’s at home, is he? Particularly engaged, d’ye say? Pooh, pooh! I know better. MOUS. (_aside_) I shall do Crummy a terrific injury some of these days. I’m sure I shall. _Enter CRUMMY, L. D. F._ CRUM. (_advancing to MOUSER, C., and giving him a slap on the back_) Ah, Mouser, my boy--sure to find you at home, eh? Ha, ha! Always together, eh? Billing and cooing, and all that sort of thing, eh? (_giving MOUSER a poke in the side_) By-the-bye, I’ve just come from Mrs. Major-General Jones. She would have nothing to say to me. She insists on seeing the head of the firm, so I told you’d be with her in a quarter of an hour. MOUS. (R.) Did you? Then you had better go back to Mrs. Jones, and tell her that I shan’t do anything of the sort. CRUM. (C.) But you _must_. Her’s is a very important case. Neither more nor less than a separation from her husband, Major-General Jones. MOUS. I’ll have nothing to do with it. Major-General Jones has never offended me--what right, then, have I to stand between Major-General Jones and Mrs. Major-General Jones, and say to Major-General Jones, “Major-General Jones, take a last look at Mrs. Major-General Jones, for you’ll never set your eyes on Mrs. Major-General Jones again?” It’s absurd! CRUM. But he ill-treats her--games, drinks, squanders her fortune--and, they do say, is not particular as to the number of his attachments. MOUS. (_with a look of horror_) ’Stasy, can such things be? (_drags off his dressing gown, which he throws into CRUMMY’S face, who places it on back of chair, R. of table._) My coat--my hat--my blue bag--quick! (_CRUMMY exits into office, R. D. F._) Oh, the monster! But I’ll hold him up to the execration of mankind. “Not particular as to the number of his attachments!” Gracious goodness! And to think that such a man is able to walk the streets without a policeman on each side of him. (_CRUMMY returns with hat, coat, and blue bag_) But, as I said before, I’ll expose him! (_in his excitement he puts on the dressing gown again--puts on CRUMMY’S hat, and takes CRUMMY’S umbrella from table_) I shan’t be long, my ’Stasia. I shall soon return on the wings of love---- (_going_)