Then there is a long, dark blank before the next picture appears, and I
see him sitting in a big arm-chair at the dining-room fire. His back is
cushioned, and a shepherd-tartan plaid is round his shoulders, the ends
folded across his knees. My mother is writing letters to his dictation
on a small bureau, which has been placed near his chair. I am playing
with a Noah's Ark, marshalling the animals in pairs on the rug; and when
my mother goes out of the room to the little office adjoining, I leave
my toys and stand at his knee, looking up to a face which to me seems
very white and pinched. A long, thin hand is placed on my curly head,
and with difficulty he bends down and kisses me. I wonder who has been
unkind to him, for I see a tear trickling down his cheek, and it falls
unheeded on his plaid.
I cannot focus him in my mind's eye in any subsequent event, though I
remember perfectly the old doctor with the foxskin cap and the
clattering clogs, and the smell of 'Kendal brown' he always left behind.
Then a day came when the window-blinds were pulled down and all the
rooms were darkened; when Betty's voice was, even to my childish ears,
low and husky; when my mother cuddled me in a tight embrace, and a wet,
wet cheek was laid against mine. Oh, how she trembled and sobbed! I felt
bewildered and unhappy, and I remember putting my wee, helpless arms
round her neck and asking her why she was crying. She told me that daddy
had gone away--away to heaven; and when I asked if he wouldn't come back
to us again, she said, 'No, no,' and her embrace tightened, and she wept
afresh. In a short time the door was hesitatingly opened, and Betty came
noiselessly in with a book in her hand which I had often seen her read.
She stood behind my mother's chair with her tear-stained face turned
away, and her red hand on my mother's shoulder; but she didn't speak.
Then she came round, and, 'hunkering' down beside us, opened her book
and in a low voice began to read.
I often think it is strange how indelibly imprinted on some childish
minds are little incidents of long ago--little glimpses of landscape,
snatches of songs, details here and there of passing events. Not that I
consider the foregoing a little incident. To me it was at the time of
outstanding moment, and even yet in my retrospect of life it looms
large and prominent; but, though I have often endeavoured to recall
Betty's ministrations on this occasion, all I can remember is that when
she came to the verse, 'I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to
you,' she spoke the words without referring to her Bible, and she
repeated them, the while looking with big, hopeful eyes up to my
mother's face. And my mother smiled through her tears; and, stroking
Betty's strong brown hair, she called her 'Betty the Comforter.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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