Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Family -- England -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"It would have been easy enough for Him to have prevented all this
trouble! I can see no help in the story of the last few years.
Everything has gone against me. In the beginning I borrowed some
money--of course, it's a case of money--to help a friend who was in a
tight fix. That was innocent enough. But when the time came round I
could not repay the debt, and in my position it was fatally easy to help
myself to what I needed. I called it just another loan. I was sure of
repaying it before anything was discovered, but again it was impossible,
for there were calls upon me which I had not expected. If I had been
short in my accounts I should have lost my situation, and it was a
handsome one for a man of my age. You won't understand the details, but
I began to speculate, to put off the evil hour, always hoping for a
_coup_ which would put everything right; but it never came. I was not
helped, you see! Things went from bad to worse, until I could go on no
longer. Then in despair I confessed the whole story to my friend--he is
a near relation also, but that is by the way. He would not allow the
family name to be disgraced; he paid up all that was due, and saved me
the shame of prosecution, but even he could do no more. I am sent about
my business--a felon in deed, though not in name. Incidentally, too, he
is ruined. He must give up his house, remove his children to cheap
schools, live in poverty instead of ease. Naturally enough he will have
no more to do with me. There is not a soul on earth who would regret me
if I passed out of being to-night."
There was a long silence while the strangely-matched couple wended their
way slowly along the bisecting roads which lead from Kensington High
Street to Bayswater Road. The fog had slightly lessened by this time,
but it was still too dense to show anything but a dim outline of
passers-by, and the face of the stranger was but a blur against the
darkness to Betty's searching eyes. Her heart was beating rapidly; she
was praying with a whole-hearted earnestness unknown to her usual
morning and evening supplications--praying to be guided to say the right
thing to save this man's soul from despair. At last--
"You say you were not helped," she began timidly; "but if your
speculations had succeeded as you hoped, it might not have been really
good for you. It would have been easier, of course, but if all had gone
smoothly you might have been tempted to do the same thing another time.
Perhaps God knew that, and that there was no way of bringing you back to
Himself except through trouble."
The stranger laughed again--his hard, mirthless little laugh.
"I am afraid I can hardly believe in that theory. I can see no reason
for believing that my doings are the slightest interest to Him, or that
He cares in the least what becomes of me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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