Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Family -- England -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"Oh yes, I could. I sin myself--often!" cried Betty, with a swift
remembrance of all those little things done or left undone which made
the failure of her home life. "A girl living at home, with a father and
a mother to look after her, has no temptation to any big thing, but it's
just as bad, if she is idle and selfish and ungrateful, and I am all
three together many times over. I'd be too proud to say that to you if
I saw your face and knew your name; but, as I said before, we are only
shadows in a dream to-night. It doesn't matter what we say. Tell me
your trouble, and let me try to understand. It isn't because I am
curious--it isn't really! Do you believe that?"
"Yes," he said instantly, "I do! Poor child, you want to help; but I am
past that. I have ruined my own life and the life of the man who has
been my best friend. I have had my chance--a better chance than is
given to most men--and I have made an utter failure of it. If I--went
on, it would mean starting again from the very beginning, with the
stigma of failure to hinder me at every turn--a hopeless fight."
"But,"--Betty's voice faltered nervously--"isn't it cowardly to run away
just when the fight is hardest? A soldier would be called a traitor if
he did that. And what would come afterwards? Do you believe that you
have a right to take your own life?"
"You mean from a religious point of view. I'm afraid that's out of my
line. I have lost what little faith I had in these last few years. You
believe in it all, of course--it's natural for a girl--but to me the
idea of a personal God is as unreal as a fairy tale. It does not touch
my position."
"But just suppose for a moment that it _were_ true. Suppose He does
exist, and has been longing to help you all this time--what then?" cried
Betty earnestly, and her companion gave a short, derisive laugh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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