Between the twilights : $b Being studies of Indian women by one of themselvesSorabji, Cornelia
General
Between the twilights : $b Being studies of Indian women by one of themselves
Sorabji, Cornelia
India -- Social conditions; Women -- India
I have tried to indicate the women’s attitude towards the man in
India. His towards her is more difficult to determine--partly
because she is not his whole existence, as he is hers; she is his
occasional amusement, and always his slave and the physical element
in the eventual saving of his soul, that complicated machinery which
necessitates a son who will pay your material and spiritual debts.
Comradeship, as we have seen, there can be little between orthodox
Hindu husband and wife. Love we will not deny--these things are between
soul and soul; show of affection would be insult in the presence of
third persons; courtesy, in the thousand little ways required in the
West, is shown rather by the woman to the man than by him to her. And,
indeed, the very fact that he allows all this is proof of respect. To
accept service is the compliment--and he respects her after his kind.
But certainly he respects her. Does he not arrange that himself shall
be her chief interest in life and her chief care and memory in death?
Is she not allowed to be at once his “parasite and his chalice.” But
certainly he respects her. Her name may not be in the mouth of a man,
even in the form of polite inquiry after her health: no strange man may
see her face, and often he may not even hear her voice. Is it not her
husband who guards her from contact with the outer world, from sight of
God’s most beautiful creation, from knowledge of the way he lives his
life, or works, or plays?
But certainly he respects her. He eats the food she cooks for him, he
gives her complete control of his household, and he sees that she lives
up to his ideal of her place in the scheme of life.
She, too, has her ideal--the worship and service of her husband, and
if he gives her opportunity to realize this, what more will she ask?
When she is the mother of a son greater respect is hers, from the other
women in the Zenana, and greater love and respect no doubt from her
lord. Men do not like to be connected with a failure, and she has been
successful, has justified her existence. The self-respect it gives
the woman herself is most marked. She still is faithful slave to her
husband, but she is an entity, a person, so far as that is possible in
a Hindu Zenana; she can lift her head above the woman who taunted her,
her heart above the fear of a rival. I have seen her parallel in the
ugly duckling of the family who suddenly develops to the recognition
of the outer world an unsuspected talent. We all know how she seems
mysteriously and instantly to grow taller, smarter, more dignified;
how she knows her own mind and has an opinion even in the regions
remote from her special subject--whereas hitherto all had been vague
discontent and vacillation. Both women are saying unconsciously in
their hearts--“I am of use in the world,” only I doubt whether, causes
reversed, either would say it as triumphantly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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