Beyond These VoicesBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
Beyond These Voices
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
Fiction
"My brother's death in the flower of boyhood hardened my father's
heart against me; and the indifference to which I had resigned myself
became undisguised dislike. I lived in a frozen atmosphere; and of
sheer necessity had to devote all my energies to the barren ambition of
the man whose task in life is to sustain and augment the fortune that
others have created. That is where the emptiness of my career comes in,
Vera. A fortune inherited from those who have gone before him can give
no dignity to a man's life. He is no better than a clerk, succeeding to
a stool in a counting-house. For a man who has laboured and invented,
who has lived through long, slow years of hardship and self-denial,
who has endured the world's contempt, and persevered in the teeth of
disappointment, over such a man's career success may shed a golden
glory. He is a conqueror who has fought and won, and may be proud even
of a triumph that brings him nothing but money. But I could have no
pride in a career that was mapped out for me before I was born. All I
can ever be proud of is that personally caring nothing for riches, I
have been a conscientious worker, and have done what I was expected to
do."
He told Vera how his own unloved childhood had been in his mind when
his wife died, and he took his motherless girl to his heart, and, while
she sobbed against his breast, swore dumbly that she should never know
the need of a mother's love; and that which had begun as a duty became
afterwards the dominating purpose of his life--the thing for which he
lived.
"There had been a time after her mother's death when my heart was
frozen, and that sweet child's presence was something that called for
fortitude rather than affection, but that lovely nature soon prevailed
even over grief, and my daughter crept into my desolate heart, my
consolation and my joy."
In those quiet walks these two mortals, so far apart in age, in
experiences, and in mental tendencies, became curiously intimate,
telling each other almost everything that could be told about two
dissimilar existences, each interested in vivid pictures of an unknown
world, the child's monotonous life with an old woman, her glimpses
of more joyous houses, the young cousin, the Arab pony and family of
dogs--the old English garden, steeped in the August sunshine; and again
of the dull upstairs-room in London, and the solitary hours of silent
play, in which childish fancies had to serve instead of playfellows,
the doll that was almost alive, the toy train that travelled to
fairyland, the old, old stories in the ragged books, "Cinderella" and
the "Forty Thieves." Provana listened to these naïve revelations as if
they had been the childish experiences of a Newton or a Shakespeare,
while Vera hung enthralled upon his memories of the liberation of
Italy, the tempestuous years of revolt and battle, Victor Emanuel,
Garibaldi, Cavour, the giant of thought and will-power, whose bold
policy had made a great kingdom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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