Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis — John Shaqi
Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosisStekel, Wilhelm
Science
Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis
Stekel, Wilhelm
Homosexuality; Neuroses
“You see, I have given the matter a great deal of thought and I have
studied the subject. I thought to myself, coughing and urinating are
very much alike. In both operations products of the organism are
removed from the body. A woman urinates with a small stream which does
not reach far. But many men urinate with force and are able to throw
out their stream,—a distance of several feet.”
Already this statement showed that back of the fear of consumption
there stood some hidden sexual motive. B. carried the analogy still
further:
“Men are also able to ejaculate, while women only omit a little
moisture which trickles down upon their parts.... At any rate, I am
particularly afraid of infection through some tubercular man.”
I inquired into the circumstances under which this fear first showed
itself and how long he had it and in reply received the following
interesting confession:
“For a long time I lived with a nephew who occupied a separate room in
my home. My married daughter came once to pay us a visit because her
child had whooping cough and she was advised that a change of air would
be beneficial.”
(It is characteristic that he was not afraid of catching whooping
cough, although he knew of a serious case,—an elderly man who had
caught the infection and as a result was seriously ill for months. The
fear of tuberculosis thus shows itself to be a misdirected notion.)
“It became necessary for me to share with my nephew the same sleeping
room,” continued the man. “He had but recently returned from Meran and
was considered cured.... But you know, how these alleged cures turn out
upon closer examination. During the night I became uneasy and several
times I heard my nephew coughing. I noticed that he did not sleep, and
I also could not fall asleep because the thought tormented me that I
would surely catch the infection. The first thing I did next morning
was to call my physician; he laughed at me but upon my persistent
questioning he told me: ‘If you are as afraid as all that, you better
sleep in a separate room!’ I did not wait to be told twice and for a
number of weeks after that I slept at a hotel. But here too, I began to
think, perhaps some tubercular man has occupied the room before me, and
could not sleep! I had night sweats and after that I no longer believed
the physicians’ reassurances and was convinced that this was a sign of
the first stage of consumption....”
We note that the elderly gentleman had become homosexually roused
by the presence of his nephew and this craving appeared to his
consciousness masked under the form of a fear of tubercular infection.
“I could tear my hairs out by the roots, to think that I had done such
a foolish thing!”
“What foolish thing?”
“I mean, sleeping in the same room with my nephew. If I had at least
put up a Japanese screen. But, unfortunately, one does foolish things
without reflecting upon the consequences....”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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