Stella sat watching the gray lines of rain beat down on the asphalt, the
muddy rivulets that streamed along the gutter. A forlorn sighing of wind
in the bare boughs of a gaunt elm that stood before her window reminded
her achingly of the wind drone among the tall firs.
A ghastly two weeks had intervened since Jack Junior's little life
blinked out. There had been wild moments when she wished she could keep
him company on that journey into the unknown. But grief seldom kills.
Sometimes it hardens. Always it works a change, a greater or less
revamping of the spirit. It was so with Stella Fyfe, although she was
not keenly aware of any forthright metamorphosis. She was, for the
present, too actively involved in material changes.
The storm and stress of that period between her yielding to the lure of
Monohan's personality and the burial of her boy had sapped her of all
emotional reaction. When they had performed the last melancholy service
for him and went back to the bungalow at Cougar Point, she was as
physically exhausted, as near the limit of numbed endurance in mind and
body as it is possible for a young and healthy woman to become. And
when a measure of her natural vitality re-asserted itself, she laid her
course. She could no more abide the place where she was than a pardoned
convict can abide the prison that has restrained him. It was empty now
of everything that made life tolerable, the hushed rooms a constant
reminder of her loss. She would catch herself listening for that baby
voice, for those pattering footsteps, and realize with a sickening pang
that she would never hear them again.
The snapping of that last link served to deepen and widen the gulf
between her and Fyfe. He went about his business grave and preoccupied.
They seldom talked together. She knew that his boy had meant a lot to
him; but he had his work. He did not have to sit with folded hands and
think until thought drove him into the bogs of melancholy.
And so the break came. With desperate abruptness Stella told him that
she could not stay, that feeling as she did, she despised herself for
unwilling acceptance of everything where she could give nothing in
return, that the original mistake of their marriage would never be
rectified by a perpetuation of that mistake.
"What's the use, Jack?" she finished. "You and I are so made that we
can't be neutral. We've got to be thoroughly in accord, or we have to
part. There's no chance for us to get back to the old way of living. I
don't want to; I can't. I could never be complaisant and agreeable
again. We might as well come to a full stop, and each go his own way."
She had braced herself for a clash of wills. There was none. Fyfe
listened to her, looked at her long and earnestly, and in the end made a
quick, impatient gesture with his hands.
"Your life's your own to make what you please of, now that the kid's no
longer a factor," he said quietly. "What do you want to do? Have you
made any plans?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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