"I have to live, naturally," she replied. "Since I've got my voice back,
I feel sure I can turn that to account. I should like to go to Seattle
first and look around. It can be supposed I have gone visiting, until
one or the other of us takes a decisive legal step."
"That's simple enough," he returned, after a minute's reflection. "Well,
if it has to be, for God's sake let's get it over with."
And now it was over with. Fyfe remarked once that with them luckily it
was not a question of money. But for Stella it was indeed an economic
problem. When she left Roaring Lake, her private account contained over
two thousand dollars. Her last act in Vancouver was to re-deposit that
to her husband's credit. Only so did she feel that she could go free of
all obligation, clean-handed, without stultifying herself in her own
eyes. She had treasured as a keepsake the only money she had ever earned
in her life, her brother's check for two hundred and seventy dollars,
the wages of that sordid period in the cookhouse. She had it now. Two
hundred and seventy dollars capital. She hadn't sold herself for that.
She had given honest value, double and treble, in the sweat of her brow.
She was here now, in a five-dollar-a-week housekeeping room, foot-loose,
free as the wind. That was Fyfe's last word to her. He had come with
her to Seattle and waited patiently at a hotel until she found a place
to live. Then he had gone away without protest.
"Well, Stella," he had said, "I guess this is the end of our experiment.
In six months,--under the State law,--you can be legally free by a
technicality. So far as I'm concerned, you're free as the wind right
now. Good luck to you."
He turned away with a smile on his lips, a smile that his eyes belied,
and she watched him walk to the corner through the same sort of driving
rain that now pelted in gray lines against her window.
She shook herself impatiently out of that retrospect. It was done. Life,
as her brother had prophesied, was no kid-glove affair. The future was
her chief concern now, not the past. Yet that immediate past, bits of
it, would now and then blaze vividly before her mental vision. The only
defense against that lay in action, in something to occupy her mind and
hands. If that motive, the desire to shun mental reflexes that brought
pain, were not sufficient, there was the equally potent necessity to
earn her bread. Never again would she be any man's dependent, a pampered
doll, a parasite trading on her sex. They were hard names she called
herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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