Left to themselves, Jean and Madame de Nezel continued strolling
along, she in a natural, unaffected way, going on with the
conversation they had commenced, and he absent-minded and ill-at-case.
"Why do you not reproach me?" he said at last, abruptly, not able to
contain himself any longer; "why do you not say all the bad things you
think about me?"
"Because I have nothing to reproach you for," she answered, very
gently; "and I do not think any bad things about you."
"Well, then, you do not care about me any longer."
"I do not care about you any longer?" she said, and there was an
accent of such intense grief in her voice that he was quite overcome
by it.
He knew so well how deeply she loved him, that he dreaded the thought
of the awful suffering she would have to endure if he were to be quite
straightforward with her now, and so, out of affection for her, he
endeavoured to conceal from her the real truth.
"Yes," he began, improvising with difficulty an excuse of which he had
not thought until that moment, "you must have fancied that I was not
thinking of you, for you have been here at The Pines a fortnight, and
I have not sent you a line. The fact is, it is very difficult to
arrange to meet here at Pont-sur-Loire; everyone knows me here, and,
you see, for your sake, I scarcely liked to ask you to meet me in the
town."
She did not make any reply, and he could not understand her silence.
"Why do you not answer me?" he asked at length.
"Why? well, because you are telling me now exactly the opposite to
what you said when you asked me to accept the Juzencourts'
invitation."
"What did I say?" he asked, slightly embarrassed.
"You said that at Pont-sur-Loire it would be so easy to meet. You
said that between the hours of luncheon and dinner there were two
trains up and two down from The Pines to Pont-sur-Loire, and that I
could get away so easily, as the Juzencourts never went out except to
pay calls at the various country-houses in the neighbourhood, or to
follow the paper chases. On my arrival here I found that all these
details were perfectly exact."
"Yes, but it really is not so easy as I had imagined."
"Ah, Jean! instead of trying to deceive me in this way, it would be
much better to tell me the truth."
"And the truth, according to you, is that I no longer care for you?"
"Yes, that is a part of the truth."
"And," he asked, somewhat uneasily, "the rest?"--
"Is, that you are in love with Mademoiselle de Courtaix. Ah, do not
deny it! it is so evident!" And then, after a moment's silence, she
added: "And so natural!"
"Do you forgive me?"
"I have nothing to forgive. I have never demanded anything from you,
and you have never, never promised me anything. When I first began to
care for you, I was not a widow; you must therefore have judged me
severely, as a man nearly always does judge the woman who is weak
enough to care for him when she ought not to."
"I swear to you--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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