Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
This, however, is an error, for the great, throbbing world, with
characteristic selfishness, don't care a brass-mounted continental
one way or the other. One day this man got a letter with a mourning
envelope, and I heaved a sigh of relief, for, thought I, he will now
go away and be alone with his great grief. But he did not. He stood up
manfully and controlled his emotions through it all; and when he got
through he broke into the old silvery laugh.
It seems that his brother in Oregon had run out of yellow envelopes, and
had filled the one with the black border unusually full of convulsive
mirth.
What a world of bitter disappointment this is anyhow!
Then there is the woman who playfully stands at the general delivery
window, and gleefully sticks her fangs out into the subsequent week, and
skittishly chides the clerk because he doesn't get her a letter, and he
good naturedly tells her as he has done daily for seven years, that he
will write her one to-morrow.
Then she reluctantly goes home to get rested so that she can come again
and stand there the next day.
Then comes the literary cuss, who takes a weekly paper from Vermont with
a patent inside to it. He reads it with the purest unselfishness to me,
and points out the fresh, new-laid jokes that one always finds in the
enterprising paper with the patent digestion.
He also explains the jokes to me, so that I need not grope along through
life in hopeless ignorance of what is going on all about me.
There is a woman, too, who comes to the window and lavishly buys a
three-cent stamp, and runs out her tongue, and hangs it over the stamp
clerk's shoulder, and lays the stamp back against the glottis and
moistens it, and has to run her skinny finger down her turkey gobbler
neck to rescue it, and then she pastes it on the upper left-hand corner
of the envelope, and asks the clerk to be sure and see that it goes. She
then thoughtfully tells him who it is to go to, and gives a short
biography of the sendee.
There can be no doubt that some women are more capable of doing certain
kinds of business than men are. All classes of business requiring
careful and minute explanations and concise and exhaustive directions
can be better attended to by this class of women.
They enter joyfully upon the task of shedding collateral information in
a way that would appall a man, and when they confide in you, you know
that they are not keeping anything back. You almost wish sometimes that
they would keep back a little of it and not rob themselvss.
Still, perhaps it is better that this class of women is not trusted with
any great amount of business, for life is so brief, so evanescent, and
so transitory.
It is but a step from the cradle to the grave anyway, and if a man
stands on one leg an hour, and then on the other an hour, listening to
extensive information every time he sells a stamp, he will die with his
ambitions unfruitioned.
AGRICULTURE AT AN ALTITUDE OF 7500 FEET.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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