Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
William is quite sociable and entertaining, even under ordinary
circumstances, but when he has thawed out his digestion with fire-water,
he talks a good deal. He is sociable to that extent that the bystander
is steeped in profound silence while William proceeds to unfold his
spring stock of information. On the following morning William awoke with
a seal brown taste in his mouth, and wrapped in speechless misery. There
was no cardinal liquor in the camp, (a condition of affairs which does
not now exist,) so that William was silent. On the amputating table of
the leading veterinary surgeon of Cummins City was found a tongue that
had just been removed. It was really cut from the mouth of a horse that
had nearly severed it himself, by drawing a lariat through it: but
the story soon gained currency that an indignant camp had risen in its
might, and visited its vengeance on William Root for turning loose his
conversational powers on the previous day.
Great excitement was manifested throughout the camp, as William had not
uttered a word as yet. Toward noon, however, a party of hardened miners,
carrying a willow-covered lunch basket with a cork in the top,
arrived in camp, and shortly after that it was ascertained that the
conversational powers of Mr. Root still remained unimpaired.
The chaplain of the camp set a day for fasting and prayer, and the red
flannel shirt on the dome of the opera house was hung at half-mast in
token of the universal sorrow and distress.
This is a true story, which accounts for the awkward manner in which I
have told it.
BANKRUPT SALE OF A CIRCUS.
|As I write these lines my heart is filled with bitterness and woe.
There is a feeling of deep disappointment this morning that has cast
my soul down into the very depths of sadness. Some years ago the
legislature of Wyoming conceived the stupendous idea that the circus
instead of being man's best friend and assistant in his onward march
through life, was after all a snare and a delusion.
This august body then passed a law that fixed the licenses of circuses
showing in Wyoming Territory at $250, which was of course an embargo on
the show business that, as I might say, laid it out colder than a wedge
so far as Wyoming Territory was concerned.
The history of that law is a history of repeated injury and usurpation.
Our people were bowed down to the earth with the iron heel of an unjust
legislature and forced to drag out the weary years without the pleasures
which come to other States and other Territories.
In the midst of this overhanging gloom, there were two men who were
not afraid of the all powerful legislature, but boldly lifted up their
voices and denounced with clarion tone and dauntless eye the great wrong
that had been done to our people.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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