Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
This necessitated a long delay and finally a sale of the circus.
Everything went, the big elephant and the baby elephant, the band
chariot with a cross-eyed hyena painted on it, the steam calliope that
couldn't play anything but "Silver Threads Among the Gold," the sacred
jackass from North Park, the red-nosed babboon from New Jersey, the
sore-eyed prairie dog from Jack Creek, the sway-backed grizzly bear from
York State, and the second-hand clown from Dubuque, all had to go.
Then they opened a package of petrified jokes and antique conundrums
that had been exhumed from the ruins of Pompeii. It seemed almost like
sacrilege, but the ruthless auctioneer tore these prehistoric jokes from
the sarcophagus and knocked them down to the gaping throng for whatever
they would bring.
The show was valued at $2,000,000 on the large illustrated catalogues
and bright-hued posters, but after the costs of attachment and sale had
been paid there was only $231 left.
Oh! what a sacrifice. How little there is in this brief transitory life
of ours that is abiding. How few of our bright hopes are ever realized.
How many glad promises are held out to us for the roseate future that
never reach fruition.
GREELEY VERSUS VALLEY TAN.
|I stopped over one day at Greeley on my return. Greeley is the town
after which Horace Greeley was named. It is enclosed by a fence and
embraces a large tract of very fine agricultural land.
The editor of the _Tribune_ had just received a brand new power press.
I asked him to come out and take something. He did not seem to grasp my
meaning exactly.
Afterward I wandered about the town thinking how much dryer the air is
in Greeley than in Denver. The throat rapidly becomes parched, and yet
the inducements for the visitor to step in at various places and chew a
clove or two are very rare indeed. I thought what a dull, melancholy day
the Fourth of July must be in Greeley, and how tame and dull life must
be to those who experience a uniform size of head from year to year. The
blessed novelty of rising in the morning with a dark brown taste in the
mouth and the cheerful feeling that your head is so large that you can't
possibly get it out through your bed-room door, are sensations that do
not enter here.
All the water not used at Greeley for irrigating purposes is worked up
into a light, nutritious drink for the people.
THE ETERNAL FITNESS OF THINGS.
|An exchange comes out with an article giving the former residence
and occupation of those who are immediately connected with the Indian
management. It will be seen that they are, almost without an exception,
from the Atlantic coast, where they have had about the same opportunity
to become acquainted with the duties pertaining to their appointment as
Lucifer has had for the past two thousand years to form a warm personal
acquaintance with the prophet Isaiah.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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