Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
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Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
|Lock Malone, Beaver, Utah, writes as follows:
"I am now making some important scientific experiments with Limberger
cheese as a motor, but have no data whereby to work. So new and unusual
is the motor to science, that I am unable to get anything relative to
its history.
"1. When was Limberger cheese first discovered, and by whom?
"2. What did he do it for anyway?
"3. To what do you attribute the bad odor in which Limberger cheese is
held by scientists?
"4. Looking from what may be termed a purely utilitarian standpoint, and
not allowing ourselves to be influenced by incongruous incandescence,
should you say in all respects that virtually in view of the
heterogeneous mobility of attended animalculate it might had or couldn't
possibly was?"
ANSWER.
1. Limberger cheese was first discovered by Galileo, floating through
space, during his studies relative to the heavenly bodies.
This was about 1609.
The body had, however, been floating through space for many millions of
years previous to that, as Galileo remarks in his diary that he
wasn't proud of it at all for it was evidently in a very poor state of
preservation.
Galileo caught some of it and tamed it, but the scientific minds of that
age had not yet made the attempt to utilize it as a motor.
The discovery was purely accidental. At about the time referred to,
Galileo had constructed his powerful telescope which would bring the
moon down so that the valleys and hills of that body were plainly
visible. One day the telescope brought down a fragment of Limberger
cheese that was floating through space. It magnified the cheese to such
an extent that Galileo could smell it distinctly.
This was the true cause of Galileo's abandonment of the Copernican
theory and eventually of astronomy.
3. The last answer really disposes of your third question.
4. Grappling with the abstruse and alarmingly previous usufruct embodied
in the omnipresent, and constantly emanating and noticeably refractory
diagnosis, herein set forth, and still wandering on through the ever
changing yet constantly invariable and fluctuating, yet undeviating
perihelion of the heavenly bodies, with unprejudiced mind and unbiased
judgment.
Arriving at the conclusion that perhaps in some cases it might not, or
yet again it might or might not, and still it might.
Numerous Husband, writes from Jehosephat Valley as follows:
"I am twenty-seven and am going on twenty-eight years of age. A few
years ago I joined on to the Mormon Church, and with my usual enthusiasm
begun to get married.
"I have been getting married with more or less recklessness ever cents.
When times was dull and I was out of employment, I Would go and get
married.
"The ofishal count shows that I am an easy and graceful marryer.
"I now find that I am hopelessly involved financially. I had intended
this summer to build a collosle villa for my multitoodinous wife; but it
will cost me more than I can now command.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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