Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
While she is shading her eyes from the blinding glare of the orb of
day, the aforesaid orb of day keeps right on setting, according to
advertisement, and at last disappears behind the snowy range, lighting
up, as it does so, the fleecy clouds and turning them into gold,
figuratively speaking, making the picture one of surpassing lovliness.
But what does she care for a $13.00 sunset, or the low, sad wail of the
sage-hen far up the canon, as it calls to its mate? What does she care
for the purple landscape and the mournful sigh of the new milch cow
which is borne to her over the greet divide? She don't care a cent.
CHAPTER II.
|It is now the proper time to bring in the solitary horseman. He is
seen riding a mouse-colored bronco on a smooth canter, and, from his
uneasiness in the saddle, it is evident that he has been riding a long
time, and that it doesn't agree with him. He has been attending the
spring meeting of the Rocky Mountain Roundup.
He takes a benevolent chew of tobacco, looks at his cylinder-escapement
watch, and plunges his huge Mexican spurs into the panting sides of his
bronco steed. The ambitious steed rears forward and starts away into
the gathering gloom at the rate of twenty-one miles in twenty-one days,
while a bitter oath escapes from the clenched teeth and foam-flecked
lips of the pigeon-toed rider.
But stay! Let us catch a rapid outline of the solitary horseman, for he
is the affianced lover and soft-eyed gazelle of Luella Frowzletop,
the queen of the Skimmilk Ranche. He is evidently a man of say twenty
summers, with a sinister expression to the large, ambitious, imported,
Italian mouth. A broad-brimmed white hat with a scarlet flannel band
protects his Gothic features from the burning sun, and a pale-brown
ducking suit envelopes his lithe form. A horsehair lariat hangs at his
saddle bow, and the faint suspicion of a downy mustache on his chiselled
upper lip is just beginning to ooze out into the air, as if ashamed of
itself. It is one of those sickly mustaches, a kind of cross between
blonde and brindle, which mean well enough, but never amount to
anything. His eyes are fierce and restless, with short, expressive,
white eyelashes, and his nose is short but wide out, gradually melting
away into his bronzed and stalwart cheeks, like a dish of ice-cream
before a Sabbath school picnic.
Such is the rough sketch of Pigeon-toed Pete, the swain who had stolen
away the heart of Luella Frowzletop, the queen of the Skimmilk Ranche.
He isn't handsome, but he is very good, and he loves the fair Luella
with a great deal of diligence, although her parents are averse to the
match, for we might as well inform the sagacious and handsome
reader that her parents are Presbyterians, whereas the hero of this
blood-curdling tale is a hard-shell Baptist. Thus are two hearts doomed
to love in vain.
CHAPTER III.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account