Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
The deep green of the stately pine, stands side by side with the golden
glory of the poplar, and here and there the brazen billows and royal
coloring of maple and oak, the hectic flush upon the features of the
dving year, are spread out between the silent sky and the sandy beach;
while softly mirrored in the glassy waters, the whole broad picture
colored by a mighty, master hand, and with the myriad dyes from Nature's
inexhaustible laboratory lies repeated, the echo of a thrilling vision.
There are two rival steamers plying on the Upper St. Croix. I do not
remember their names, because they charged me full fare both ways. I can
see that my memory is failing a little every day, and I am getting more
and more prone to forget those who do not recognize my innate and
spontaneous greatness at a glance, and extend the usual courtesies.
When we came down we towed a wheat barge loaded with 21,000 bushels of
wheat, and it was pretty difficult most of the way.
The opposition boat went up the night before, and had taken up the water
with a blotting-paper, so that every little while I had to roll up my
pants about nine feet, and go out into the channel, and luff up on the
starboard watch of the barge with a jenny pole and bring her to, so that
she could find moisture.
Then I had a good deal of fun going ashore after ferns when the boat was
aground. While the crew went aft and close-reefed the smoke-stack and
hauled abaft the top-gallant, or side-tracked the wheat barge, my wife
would send me ashore to gather maiden-hair ferns, and soft, velvety
mosses, and sad, yearnful wood-ticks. O how I love to crawl around
through the underbrush, and tear my clothes, and wilt my collar, and
gather samples of lichens, and ferns and baled hay and caterpillars to
decorate my Western home.
At first I thought I would not mention the little domestic cloud that
has shot athwart my sky, but I cannot smother it in my own breast any
longer.
St. Croix Falls is on the Wisconsin side of the river and Taylor's Falls
on the Minnesota side. They are connected by a toll-bridge which charges
you one and a half cents each, way for passage. One can stand halfway
across this bridge and see up and down the river, with the Devil's Arm
Chair at his right and the Dalles at his left. After supper I took a
couple of friends down to the bridge and without Jetting them know the
treat that I had in store for them, I went up to the gate-keeper
and paid for all three of us both ways. Then I told them to enjoy
themselves. It was a novel treat perhaps to throw open a toll-bridge to
the enjoyment of one's friends, but I did it with that utter disregard
of expense which has characterized my mining developments in the Rocky
Mountains.
Then I took the boys over across the river and gave them the freedom of
St. Croix Falls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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