"I shall go back to Chicago to-morrow. I shall not be as handsome as I was, but I have gained a good deal of information about the broad and beautiful west which is priceless in value to me. "All I wished to say was this; if you see fit to mention this matter to the public, tone it down as much as possible, and say that for a bilious, nervous temperament, perhaps the air here is too bracing." I have considered his sensitive feelings, and have tried to give the above account in fair and impartial terms. A QUIET LITTLE WEDDING WITHOUT ANY FRILLS |Another class of those who frequent the temple of justice includes those who are in search of matrimony at reduced rates. I remember one unostentatious little wedding which took place at the general headquarters of municipal jurisprudence, over which I preside, and during the earlier history of my reign. It was quite a success in a small way. I had just moved into the office, and had been engaged that morning in putting up a stove. The stove had seemed reluctant, and as my assistant was sociably drunk, I had not succeeded very well. The pipe didn't seem to be harmonious, and the effort to bring about a union between the discordant elements, had not, up to the time of which I speak, produced any very gratifying results. I had reached down into the elbow of the pipe several times, to see how it felt down there, and after satisfying my morbid curiosity in that respect, I had yielded to a wild and uncontrollable desire to scratch my nose with the same hand. This had given me an air of intense sadness, and opaque gloom. I stood on the top of a step-ladder trying to make the end of a six-inch joint of pipe go into the end of a five-inch joint, when the groom entered. He wanted to know if he could see the general manager, and I told him he could if he had a piece of smoked glass, and a $5 promissory note executed by old man Spinner. Then he told me how he was fixed. He desired a small package of connubial bliss, and without delay. The necessary preliminaries were arranged; the groom made an extempore effort to spit in the mosaic cuspidore, but was only partially successful, put on his hat and went out in search of Juliet. She was very unique in her style, and entirely free from any effort to appear to the best advantage. She wore her hair plain, _a la_ Sitting Bull. It had been banged, but not with any great degree of system or accuracy. Probably it had been done with the pinking-iron or a pair of ice-tongs by an amateur banger. She looked some like Mrs. Bender, only younger and more queenly, perhaps. She swept into the arena with the symmetrical movement and careless grace of a hired man--only her steps were longer and less methodical. Both bride and groom had come through with a band of emigrants from Kansas, and, therefore, they were out of swallow-tail coats and orange blossoms.