Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
There was no airy tulle and shimmering satin, or broadcloth and
spike-tail coat in the procession; at least there was none visible to
the court.
The groom was bronzed and bearded like a pard, whatever that is, and
wore a pair of brown-duck overalls, caught back with copper rivets and
held in place by a lonely suspender. He also wore a hickory shirt with
stripes running vertically. His hair looked like burnished gold, only he
hadn't burnished it much since he left Kansas.
The entire emigrant train dropped in one by one to witness the ceremony,
and seemed impressed with the overshadowing and awe-inspiring nature of
the surroundings.
One by one they filed in, and, making their little contribution to the
mosaic cuspidore, they leaned themselves up against the wall and wrapped
themselves in thought.
I bandaged my finger, which I had skinned some in putting the stove
together, wiped off what soot and ashes I had about my person and
thought I would not need, and boldly solidified these two young hearts.
The ceremony was not very impressive, but it did the required amount of
damage. That was all that was necessary.
The applicants seemed to miss the wedding-march and some other little
preparatory arrangements, which I had overlooked, but I apologized to
them afterward, and told them that when times picked up a little, and
I got established, and the new fee-bill went into operation, I would
attend to these things.
The wedding presents were not numerous, but they were useful, and showed
the good sense of the donors.
The bride's mother gave her one of the splint-bottom chairs that one
always sees tied to the rear of every well regulated emigrant wagon, and
her father gave her a cream-colored dog, with one eye knocked out.
With his overflowing wealth of flea-bitten dogs, he might have done much
better by her than he did, but he said he would wait a few years and if
she were poor enough to need more dogs, he would not be parsimonious.
The young couple went up on Coyote Creek and went to housekeeping, and
years have gone by since without word from them.
In the turmoil and hurry of life, I had almost forgotten them until
Cole's circus was in town the other day.
That brought them to light.
They had done well in the dog business, and had succeeded in promoting
the growth of a new kind of meek and lowly dog, with sore places on him
for homeless and orphan flies.
They also had several children with reddish hair and large, wilted ears.
The youngest one was quite young, and cried when the calliope burst into
a wild rhapsody of Nancy Lee.
When I saw the family, the mother was eagerly watching the parade, and
at the same time trying to broil the baby's nose in the sun. It was
almost done, when I was called away by other business, so I cannot say
positively whether the child was taken home rare or well-done.
THOUGHTS ON SPRING
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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