Now that Bertha was beyond his reach she seemed to him the one desirable
thing in the world. For several years they hardly met; then Nigel
contrived that they should become friends again. Her feeling for him
could never be revived. His was far more vivid than formerly. It was
fanned by her coolness, and was in a fair way to become an _idee fixe_,
for he was not material enough to live without some dream, some ideal,
and Bertha found him amusing. There always had been a certain mental
sympathy between them; in a sense (superficially and humorously), they
saw life very much from the same standpoint. With the instinctive tact
of the real lover of women he carefully concealed from her the secret
that made his home life miserable, instead of merely tedious. It was,
simply, that Mary was morbidly, madly jealous of him. He had shown far
too soon that he had married her for her money, and if he had convinced
her that she had bought him, it was perhaps natural in return that she
should wish for her money's worth. The poor woman was passionately in
love with Nigel. She suspected him of infidelity, with and without
reason, morning, noon, and night; it was almost a monomania. They had
two children in the first and second years of the marriage. Nigel was
carelessly fond of them, but he regarded them rather as a private luxury
and resource of his wife, mistakenly thinking their society could fill
up all the gaps made by his rather frequent absences. Nigel knew better
than to complain of his wife, or to ask for sympathy from Bertha, for he
was certain that if she had the faintest idea of the jealousy, her door
would be closed to him.
* * * * *
Bertha was peculiarly kind, peculiarly full of sympathy for her own sex.
And yet she was not at all fond of the society of women, with few
exceptions; and she was often bored by the liking and admiration she
usually inspired in them. Something in her personality disarmed ordinary
jealousy, for though she was pretty and attractive, it was easy for
other women to see that she was not trying to attract. What the average
woman resents in another woman is not her involuntary charm; it is her
making use of it.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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