SANFORD. [_Seizing him suspiciously._] Eh? Now what did you mean by that, I’d like to know? MARTIN. [_Impeccably._] Why, I thought you wanted it, sir! SANFORD. Yes, yes, I wanted it, but you see--I’d just been saying--er--I’d just been alluding--[_As_ MARTIN _regards him_.] oh, damn it, no matter! No matter! MARTIN. Shall I fetch it, sir? SANFORD. [_Reluctantly turning indoors with him._] I suppose so! But mind, if ever I find you insinuating things about Mrs. McCormorant’s deafness--oh, well, you may take your month’s pay and clear out! Why, it might gum the whole game! MARTIN. Yes, sir. In fact, sir, as you mentioned it, and a similar thought being in my own mind---- SANFORD. [_Hastily._] I’m not mentioning anything, Martin--and neither are you!--Assuredly not the night before my wedding!--when you know perfectly well, or would, if you had the least touch of romance--that I’m all of a flutter inside! [_As they step, fumbling a little, into the living-room._] Now where’s that confounded button? This jumpy moonlight makes everything disappear! [MARTIN _switches on the light, which illumines the old spinnet_, L., _and the portrait of an elderly woman in crude, modern evening dress, which hangs upon the wall_. MARTIN. Here, sir----! [_Going to the table_, C., _on which are several ear-trumpets_.] Now you’ll be able to see which ear-trumpet’s the best, sir! SANFORD. [_With a grunt, surveying the instruments before him._] Oh, you unwrapped them! MARTIN. Why, yes, seeing how important it was for to-morrow! I was very careful, sir---- SANFORD. Yes, yes, it would never do to let her go to church with her trumpet broken. Dear, dear, such an unfortunate accident--and the day before the wedding! Here, let’s bring it all into the garden---- [_As_ MARTIN _obeys him, and as they carry the little table just outside_.] Not to hear the vows---- [_Sentimentally._] “Till death do us part!” [_Then, practically, to_ MARTIN.] Look here--before I go upstairs, let’s try them out---- [_Giving_ MARTIN _the rope end of one of the trumpets_.] You go over there--[_With a gesture, right foreground._] and say something! MARTIN. [_Dubiously preparing to obey._] But _you’re_ not deaf, sir! SANFORD. [_Slightly dashed._] No, I’m not deaf--but it might give us an idea---- [_He backs away from_ MARTIN.] There! Now try it! MARTIN. [_On a low note._] You’d best go to bed, sir! SANFORD. [_With an irritability that shows he has heard._] I can’t hear a word!