“My friends, we have gathered here to discuss an important question, namely, ‘Our dealings with men, and men’s dealings with us.’ It is a sad fact that although we are the benefactors of mankind, and positively necessary to their well-being and even to their lives, they do not appreciate us as they should. If you will pardon my egotism, I will illustrate this assertion by my own experience. I may say modestly—for I am only quoting men’s words—that I am considered the most intelligent of beasts, and am chosen as the companion, the playmate, the assistant, yea, the protector of man. I cheer hours of his loneliness from the cradle to the grave, and am ever ready to assist him in a thousand different ways. Yet how am I treated? A hard crust, a dry bone, kicks and curses and harsh words, a bed on a hard plank or on the cold ground, wherever I can find it. These are too often the inventory of my rewards; while the torments inflicted by small boys, and the indignity and torture of tin cans tied to my tail, fill the full record of my tale of woe. No doubt the rest of you have grievances many and various. “We will be pleased to hear from any of you who desire to speak, and will be glad of any suggestion, or plan for the general good which may present itself to you. The meeting is now open for remarks.” He sat down on his tail and assumed his most dignified and intelligent expression, while he looked about the miscellaneous assembly. In an instant the horse walked forward, and was duly recognized by the chairman. “The words of our chairman have struck a responsive chord in my heart,” he said gravely. “I have pondered on this subject many times when suffering from the abuse of men. Sometimes I am driven at my utmost speed for hours at a time, while my head is held unnaturally high and my graceful neck cramped and stiffened by the cruel check-rain; my body exposed to the torments of flies because my beautiful tail has been docked; and then, when weary and sore and over-heated, I am tied up in some chilling draught of wind while my feet are obliged to stand in a wet gutter, and I am stiffened and ruined for life by some person’s ignorance or foolishness. “It does seem a pity, to me, that some more rational creature than man had not been chosen as ‘The lord of creation’ in the beginning. Why, he cannot govern himself. Then how can he be capable of governing us who follow unerring instincts with unfailing faithfulness? The question is wide as the world and deep as the sea. As I have said, I have pondered it many times in all its aspects, but as yet have reached no definite conclusion which might suggest a remedy. “Therefore, let me urge upon you all to give us your wisest thoughts upon this subject, which is of vital importance to us all.” He returned to his place and waited anxiously for the next speaker. The cat took the floor with a graceful step and a gentle expression which caught the favor of the assembly.