Mrs. Carruthers rose, and turned her colourless face upon her son.
There was an angry light in her large hazel eyes, whose dewy
brightness time had not yet greatly harmed. As they confronted each
other, a strong likeness between the mother and son asserted itself.
"George," she said, "you are putting me to needless pain. You have
said enough to show me that you are unchanged. You have come here,
endangering my peace, and compromising yourself, for the purpose, I
suppose, of asking me for money to repay this person who relieved you
from a gambling debt. Is this your business here?"
"Yes," he said shortly, and with a lowering brow.
"Then listen to me. I cannot give you any money." He started, and came
close up to her. "No, George. I have no money at my disposal, and you
ought to know that, as well as I know it. Every shilling I have ever
had of my own I have given you. You know I never grudged it. You know
you had at all; but that leaves me without resources. Mr. Carruthers
will not help you." She grew paler still, and her lips trembled. "I
have asked him many times to alter his determination, a determination
which you cannot say is undeserved, George, but it is in vain. I
might, perhaps, wonder that you would stoop to take assistance from a
man who has such an opinion of you, and who has forbidden you his
house, but that the sad knowledge I have gained of such lives as yours
has taught me that they utterly destroy self-respect--that a
profligate is the meanest of creatures. Calm yourself. There is no use
in giving loose to your temper towards me, George. You have the power
to afflict me still, but you can deceive me no more."
She sat down again, wearily, leaning her arm on the back of the sofa,
and her head on her hand. There was silence for a few moments. Then
she said:
"How much money do you owe this man, George, and when must it be
paid?"
"I owe him a hundred and forty pounds, mother, and it must be paid
this day month."
"A hundred and forty pounds?" repeated Mrs. Carruthers, in a terrified
tone.
"Yes; precisely that sum, and I have not a pound in the world to exist
on in the mean time. I am cleaned out, that's the fact," he went on,
with a dismal attempt at speaking lightly; "and I can't carry on any
longer." But he spoke to inattentive ears. His mother was lost in
thought.
"I cannot give you money," she said at length. "I have not the command
of any."
"This doesn't look like want of it," said her son bitterly, as he
caught a handful of her velvet dress in his grasp, and then dropped it
scornfully.
"My personal expenses are all dictated by Mr. Carruthers, George, and
all known to him. Don't suppose I am free to purchase dress or not, as
I choose. I tell you the exact truth, as I have always told you." She
spoke coldly and seriously, like one whose mind is made up to a great
trial, who hopes neither to alter its character nor to lessen its
weight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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